The Noraebang: FINALLY!!!

I'm had a pretty amusing last couple of days, which is kinda incredible since nothing ever happens during the week. The fun began last night after school when all the teachers traveled to downtown Yangpyeong to check out some art gallery where the science teacher had some pictures that were being displayed. I'm assuming it was a solidarity/camaraderie sort of thing, so we all played the role of someone who gives two shits about a photo art exhibit. Some of the photos were pretty cool, as I'm a sucker for landscape/scenery shots. I wasn't the biggest fan of the science teacher's pictures since he opted for the deep shot of some old ladies chatting at the Yongmun bus depot and some young monks at the local Buddhist temple. The old ladies one particularly bothered me since I'm usually terrified or at least creeped out by the really old, shriveled old folks. I mean come on, if you are so hunched over that your upper body is parallel to the ground when you walk (no joke here), you gotta have both feet in the grave and you are just patiently waiting for someone to show up with a shovel to finish the job. The US has the decency to herd their prunes all together in one place, but here they are free to roam and terrorize the countryside. After the art gallery, I was swept away to one of the town's seafood restaurants for what may have been a celebration dinner for the science teacher. Perhaps it was just an excuse to get drunk. I'm leaning towards the latter. As soon as we show up I'm swept over to the principal who has decided that I will sit directly across from him and be his drinking buddy. It's also funny to interact with him cuz he's just a drunk old man who knows no English, except for "My son...Chicago". He's got that one fucking down. Well, when my principal tells me to drink soju and to take the entire shot, I can't really say no. Plus I'm twice this guys size, so I'm definitely gonna be able to take him, alcoholic bonuses withstanding. The female teachers around me started to get a bit worried, as they occasionally leaned over and would tell me "Slowly, slowly". I knew full well that the principal would lose track of when I was and wasn't drinking at some point and then I could slow down. The culinary highlight of the dinner was freshly killed octopus. And I mean fresh as the the tentacles were still wriggling and squirming on the plate, even 20 minutes after being delivered. After the dinner and drinking it was off to the noraebang for the whole school staff. I was again made to sing "Let It Be" and "Yesterday". Thank god I like those songs otherwise this shit would get old really fast. Other highlights included the discovery that the gym teacher is the worst dancer ever and more up close time with the principal. The other teachers were just falling out of their chairs after watching him try to bust a move. It reminded me of all the awesome moves that we used to break out at West dances. You know, like "washing dishes" or "the lawnmower", only this was just plain bad instead of awesomely bad. The principal and I got even closer as he sat down next to me, clearly drunk and kinda out of it, and began patting me on the lap, which was obviously weird. I just sat there thinking, "Okay, whatever it takes to get on my principal's good side so when I go and ask him for certain days off over vacation he will say yes". I did it for you Alyse. Hopefully I shouldn't have any problems in getting him to approve me going on vacation when Alyse comes. I feel like my nose is sufficiently covered in shit.

Today was alot of the same as I was invited, at no cost to me, out to dinner, this time with just one of the teachers. She is this sweet lady who is basically my Korean mom, as she is always worrying about how I'm eating and how I'm getting to school and other mom like worries. She has a middle schooler and high schooler of her own, so this mothering thing isn't new. Dinner was delicious and the after dinner noraebanging was equally delicious. The interesting part was the interaction with the teacher's friends who also came to dinner. Now having dinner with 3 middle aged Korean women is weird enough for me, but what one lady did took it a step further. When I first met her she was really excited and started moving towards me. Now this caught me by surprise since pretty much all Koreans just settle for the polite bow from a safe distance, so I assumed that she was moving in for a western handshake that a small number of Koreans will do. Not even close. She reaches out and grabs my hand for the handshake, but she keeps going in for a full time hug. Yeah, I was shocked. Koreans just don't fucking hug. No ifs, ands, or buts. As if the hug weren't enough, it felt like her hands went a little lower than they probably should have. Granted, she is much smaller than me, so her hands reach around at a lower height than I'm used to but still it felt might low. My suspicions were confirmed at our departure. I went in for the polite, but not really making any kind of body contact hug (the I'm gonna hug you but I really don't want to hug), while she countered with a real hug. This time there was no doubt as she clearly went downstairs and got a solid handful of my posterior. Ohhhh, Korea, what am I gonna do with you?