Better late than never: Orientation and the Seoram Mts.

Mother fucking hallelujah! I finally found something to add to the bland and tasteless quantities of goguma (sweet potato). It just so happens that it was an old friend, peanut butter, that I happened to have lying around. This wouldn't be such a huge breakthrough if I didn't have boxes of the shit sitting out on my porch. It's gotta be eaten. Otherwise today was interesting for the amusing interactions with some of my kids. My conversation with my best student took a strange turn (mind you, he's a bit weird, which is why I like him so much) when he told me that when he was younger he had built a time machine and travelled back in time to invent the light bulb instead of Edison. Just beautiful. I was also told by another student that he had composed an opera when he was younger, like 9 years old. He also staged a touching wedding ceremony with an eraser, but then couldn't stand to be around her and they began quarreling and fighting. To top that off he created what he called the "genius dance", which basically is walking/dancing around like a puppet on strings, with your legs and arms just kinda flopping around. Man, I love my kids some times. Anyway, on to the meat of this article. I promised I would write about the strange happenings at my Foreign Teacher Orientation workshop and at the Seoram Mts. I did, 2 weeks ago, but my computer saw to it that that venture ended in horrible failure. I've got my fingers crossed for round 2. Let's go back to that time, long ago when things were so much simpler....Well, this week long orientation thingy in Yongin (near Seoul) couldn't have happened at a better time, as I had nearly come to blows with my absurd coteacher. We approached a major shouting match over such things as our differing ideas on how to teach the kids (she couldn't understand the merit of any of my activities, whereas I only have to look at the kids to see how flawed her methods were), as well as my inability to turn in lesson plans for days I didn't actually teach. I've since decided that logic and common sense has no place in the Korean classroom and have made sure to turn in lesson plans regardless of whether I actually taught. The directions given to me by the co-teacher stipulated that I get to the Yangpyeong bus station by 7:30 to meet another foreign teacher, take the bus to Seoul, then hop the subway all the way south to Seongnam to my destination. I, not being a complete idiot, realized this was a horrible route, as I could just take the bus to seongnam for the same price and only ride the subway for 3 stops rather than 18 or so. Plus I would save a couple hours of transport time. Well, Tuesday morning rolled around and forced my hand in that direction anyway. I slept through my alarm and arrived at the station at 8:25, just in time to catch the Seongnam bus. Ooops. I got a call from my coteacher just as soon as I got on the bus, but I didn't pick up because I assumed that she would just start yelling and I knew she probably wouldn't believe me anyways. Several hours later, the entire cavalcade of foreign teachers arrived at the Hyundai Learning Center for our Orientation. See, I assumed we would be staying at a hotel or something but, no, we were in a glorified dormitory. The rules were about the same as well. As soon as we stepped in the door we were bombarded with signs laying down the numerous rules for our stay. No flip-flaps (yeah, they spelled it wrong), shorts, tank-tops, etc. for clothing as we are professional teachers and must conduct ourselves thusly, even at a workshop. Each room has 3 people staying in it, but you are only given one key, so don't lose it. Sound stupid yet? Just wait, it gets better. After a boring introductory lecture, we were informed that there is a midnight no noise curfew of sorts and that we aren't allowed to leave the premises. Plus, there is no booze allowed on the grounds. Well, fuck. What the hell else am I supposed to do to get the nonsense out of my poor head? I guess they put the insane restrictions on us because the last foreign teacher orientation conference there was drunkenness to the upteenth degree. Some folks stole a statue from somewhere and tossed it off the roof. Somebody else vomited in the sauna. Several folks were passed out in the halls. Others wandered into members of the opposite sexes rooms and some pissed on their roomates. Outrageous yes, but in the Korean mindset, if one foreigner of said country does something, then clearly all foreigners of said are guilty of the same crime. That's why all Canadians have to go through a crazy amount of background checks because of one Canuck who buggered a bunch of his male students. They are pretty rascist and closed minded here. To a level that would make an American stand up and say: "That's pretty fucking closed minded". Well, after several hours of propaganda still shit, our group of 15 teachers had had enough and we staged a breakout. So we all wandered off the premises with getting permission first and headed to the closest bar, which was 30 minutes walk away. Eventually we had nearly 50 of the 200 something foreign teachers at this bar, and the Koreans realized that they couldn't stop us from leaving the premises, so they recinded the bullshit. After that first night, the walls seemed to have been broken down and people actually started enjoying themselves. Sure the lectures sucked but we were basically there to build some networks with English speakers here in Korea. At that point I hadn't had a decent conversation in English in around 1 and a half months. I had diarrhea of the mouth in the worst way for the entire time, as I wasn't sure when, if ever, I would be able to chat in English for the remainder of my time here. Met some cool people though, like my roomate Toben from Canada. He'd been here for a year or so, so he was able to relate to me all the best hangouts and places to go for live music and what not. Then there was Gavin from Australia and Jamie from sunny England. What a pair. They found out that they live in the same town, sunny and tropical Uijeongbu (don't ask me, that's what they said...I guess it's the subtropics up there) and they share a common interest in getting ridiculously shit faced. Gavin is at least 45 or so and he didn't come home from the bars on the last day until 6 am. That is how it is done. Ohhh of course, one can't forget the Coetzee siblings, Brynley and Brianna. What a theatrical and absurd pair. They remind me a little of Busha when he's on one of his pompous blowhard bullshit kicks. The stuff that came out of their mouths, hilarious.

Now on to the Seoram Mt. trip. Not anything too crazy here. Mostly just observations and musings on what it means to be a Korean. Now I know every culture has it's weird ticks and issues that other people just don't get. Hell, I don't even understand most of Americans' issues. The Korean ticks though interest me terribly. First off they have absolutely no appreciation for nature and the beauty around them. This may be because they have such abundant beauty right around the back door, but maybe not. Their lack of appreciation was never so apparant as when we reached the peak at the Seoram range. Here we had 360 degrees of breathtaking scenery and what were the Koreans doing? Fighting and clawing to get a picture in front of the stupid little carved sign that says such and such peak, such and such meters. Out of the 100 or so people perched on the peak, I felt like I was the only one actually taking in the remarkable wonder of this area. I was the only one taking pictures of the area, save one other foreigner. What does get them off though, is leaves that have changed color. I mean, they go apeshit for this stuff. Here we are having climbed for 5 or 6 hours to reach the peak and you are stopping to admire a red leaf. They have those back in your town. What the fuck?? Another issue of mine is how they approach the whole climbing thing. I assumed that everbody went through the exertion to reach the peak in order to absorb the sublime nature of the area. Man, was I wrong. I guess Koreans just really like mountain climbing for the exercise. When I reach the top, all I wanna do is lie down and stay here for hours, maybe days, while Koreans stop only to fuel up or empty out and then they are on their way. My biggest observation and confusion with Korea is it's over politeness and yet absolute lack of decorum/manners. I wrongly assumed that a culture so focused on levels of honor and respect, would carry over into common decency towards the fellow man. Man am I an idiot. For all the dignity that they show in certain aspects of life, they are some of the most self-absorbed, selfish, and inconsiderate human beings I've ever come across. When it comes to driving or mountain climbing, they are absolutely ruthless. Here we are walking down the side of a rather steep mountain with very little pathway and we've got Koreans rushing past, pushing their way through, forcing people off the path. Not even the slightest consideration for others (moving off a little to the side to allow someone else to pass by, yielding to someone else), you know the common courtesies. These folks would shove a little kid or feeble grandma off the cliff if it helped them get down faster. I got so sick of their shoving and pushing that I contemplated throwing elbows to get me some space. You should have seen the scuffle to get on the bus to leave the park. You would have thought that we had 10 seconds to live, rather than actually having another empty bus waiting 10 yds away. Course, me trying to throw an elbow wouldn't be much good as the little buggers would just sneak underneath. Man, they are small.