Winter Camp: This only happens once a year?......darn.

It’s been a long, long time since I posted about anything pertaining to my life here in Korea and I figured now was as good a time as any, considering I’m stuck at school all week with nothing to do. Yep, no camps (thank god) or classes to teach, I just gotta warm the hell out of my seat. Now normally I’m really, really good at that, but this week my skill has been put to the test, as my office is rather chilly. How chilly? How does 3 degrees Celcius (38 Farenheit or so) grab ya? That was yesterday. Today we are up to 5 degrees (42 Farenheit), so I’m typing this in shorts and sandals cuz it’s so damn toasty. Sure my office has a big box heater thing, but it suddenly doesn’t work. They gave me a little electric heat fan (for those who don’t know, it looks like a small fan, cept on the inside it has little coils that heat up instead of fan blades), but those things suck. They only heat the air directly around then, rather than the entire room like the big box heater. And they don’t heat so much as burn and singe the areas closest to them. Currently my right leg feels like its hairs are being slowly burned off, while my left leg is, well, not warm. The situation is, in a word, shitty. I could go on and on about the lousy heating policies here in Korea (floor heating is crap by the way), but I won’t, for as lousy as my school situation is this week, they are letting me go home at noon, so all is forgiven.

Since it has been so long since I posted, I figured I should give a quick update of whats been going on. When last you saw (err, read) me, I was at the stupid workshops. Well those things took place on a Monday and Tuesday, with Tuesday being my last day of school till winter break. I used some of my vacation to free up Wednesday and Thursday to do, well nothing. Then Christmas was on that Friday, I left for Japan from Sunday through Saturday (Dec 27th to Jan 2nd) and started winter camps the next Monday (Jan 4th). Those lovely, lovely camps took three weeks (Jan 4th to Jan 22nd), and now I’m doing a whole lotta nothing this week. Which brings us back to the present.

Naturally, the majority of my time the last few weeks has been swallowed up by winter camps, so I’ll start there. Ohhhh, the memories. I believe I mentioned it in previous posts, but originally I got yanked around a bit about camp. First, I was gonna teach 2 weeks at a different school, then it was 3 weeks at my school, then they added in 1st and 2nd graders, who I’ve never worked with, and asked me to design camps for them.

Well, with all that behind me and a good week in Japan to relax, I was ready to do this teaching thing (don’t worry the very un-Wallin-like enthusiasm for work was dead and buried by the second day of camp). It just so happened that Korea decided to have its heaviest snowfall in 33 years on the same day, so getting to school was difficult, to put it mildly. I should have just walked, probably would have been quicker. Seoul got hit with quite a few inches of stuff, nothing too crazy for Wisconsin, but crazy, crazy, amounts for Korea. They never get this much. As a result, they were woefully unprepared. How unprepared? The roads weren’t back to normal, in my opinion, until Friday. 5 days later. And I’m not talking the back alleys and shit, I’m talking the major highway/expressway across southern Seoul that runs right next to my apartment. Most places it seemed like they did nothing, just having the cars drive over the snow until it was packed down and impossible to plow. As for snow shovels? I have yet to see one. Most people were clearing sidewalks and walkways with brooms. Freaking brooms. Yeah, that’s gonna move 4 inches of snow real good like. Jesus.

Having no idea the storm of the century was heading my way, I didn’t get up any earlier than usual, so I arrived to school late. Surprisingly, it was only 10 minutes late. Did I think I was gonna die along the way? Yeah, I did. Considering I look both ways, repeatedly, when crossing a street, a one way street, here in Korea (yeah, they are that bad and unpredictable), I was sure I was dead when I went across the crosswalks. But surprisingly, the Korean drivers, pretty damn lousy on a good day, weren’t really that bad in the snow. Good work folks.

Anyways, I walk into my first class of camp (the 1st and 2nd graders) and my co-teacher is there to help me. Cool. Didn’t think she would be there, but I could always use the help. Now, I had previously balked at making a completely new camp for the young kids cuz I just didn’t wanna make that much extra work for myself, so I recycled the easy stuff from the older kids. This was thrown out the window after I spent the first 10 minutes of class working the kids through “What’s your name?” and the answer “My name is ….”. Crap. New lesson plan on the fly. Had to make up some stuff, but we did okay. The other classes went pretty well too. The drama started once class was over, of course (maybe in some utopian/dream society, people can actually do their jobs free from the bullshit and drama, but that dream society is not Korea).

After class, I was immediately dragged into a meeting with the vice-principal to discuss some things. Firstly, my tardiness. Yes, class does start at 9:00am and my contract time says I need to be at school at 8:50am and I showed up at 9:10am. I get that. However, its….well, it’s a blizzard outside. A little bit of leniency should be allowed. Buses aren’t running at all and traffic isn’t moving. Kinda hard to travel by bus in that environment. Where it got really ridiculous was when she explained to me that I need to be at school before the 8:50am time required in my contract. Why? Well, “some of the parents are very busy and must bring their children to school early, but they can’t get into the classroom, so you need to be here then.” Excuse me, how is that any of my responsibility? 10 minutes before class starts, which is when I normally would arrive, is completely reasonable to ask of me, but anytime before that is completely unnecessary. I was told that at the latest, I should be at school at 8:50am. Naturally, as with any disagreement in the workplace with superiors here in Korea, I say absolutely nothing, nod in agreement, then just completely ignore whatever nonsense they just gave me. I’m gonna show up at 8:50am, whether the parents like it or not. It’s there problem to modify their schedules to accommodate. Plus, most of these kids live a stone’s throw away in massive apartment buildings, literally 2 minutes walk away. If these kids are incapable of walking this distance without holding their parents hand, that is also not my problem (the excessive babying of the children here is a whole other subject). To make this argument even more ridiculous, when I was able to get to school at 8:50am from Thursday onward (I badly underestimated Seoul’s ability to remove the snow, thus resulting in being late again on Tuesday and Wed…you can imagine that went over well), only one student was waiting at 8:50am. One student. Out of 13. And most of those 13 arrived 5 to 10 minutes late to class. Now, I understand that people may have modified their schedule by then, but it still doesn’t give their complaint much ground to stand on. Definitely doesn’t back up the amount of uproar and annoyed parents that the vice principal claimed there was. Perhaps she was just covering up her own complaints about me by transposing them on the kids…..

Her other problem this day (…yeah, there were several days of meetings and lectures) was about the material for the little kids. Obviously, it was too hard. I knew that, after working with them, that’s why I changed it. That had always been the plan, make some rough plan, then adjust for the kids. So naturally, I didn’t take to kindly to having to listen to her explain that the class was too hard and that I should teach this and teach this and teach that for a whole hour. Firstly, this woman knows nothing about actually teaching, much less teaching English, and secondly, I can’t get much actual planning and prepping done while sitting on a couch in her office listening to her lame suggestions. So ended Day 1. Stressed and frustrated with this woman, I went home.

Day 2 went well, at least from the teaching standpoint. The newly designed 1st and 2nd grader lesson plan went well (I made sure to include coloring and drawing), and the older kids weren't so bad. There was, however, another meeting with the vice-principal, not like I was surprised. Again, she stressed the need to arrive early (I rolled in at 9 today, as I wrongly assumed the buses would be running properly again) for the sake of the parents and kids, which I previously said turned out to be a load of crap. Today's lecture point du jour was that the material was too hard for the students. Apparently, after one day (yes, one day) some of the students complained that it was too hard, those students' parents complained to the vice-principal and here we are. Seriously, one day? I didn't know who was in my classes, other than their names, so my lessons were obviously not going to be perfectly suited to the students without actually meeting them in person. Also, some days will obviously be harder than others, as I'm no professional, so my lessons aren't perfectly designed for their levels. The students aren't all at the same levels, as the classes were separated by grade, so the material was hard to a few students with little to no English ability but was perfectly doable for the vast majority of the class. That sounds like a success to me. However, it was made very clear to me that I should be focusing the lesson on those low level kids, while boring the shit out of the high level kids. As you might expect, I zoned out and completely ignored this BS. In my experience with these kids, the low level children are usually the ones who won't do the work and don't give a shit, while the kids that do their work are of average or high ability. Whatever I give these low level folks, regardless of difficulty, they won't do it. No child left behind? Not so much. These low level kids need special, extra one-on-one attention to catch up that I simply can't offer, at the expense of everyone else. Sorry.

Day 3 was much the same. Classes went fine, followed by lecture from the vice-principal. If this shit was gonna continue every day, I wasn't gonna make it to the end of 3 weeks. With the 1st and 2nd grade class issues resolved, today's diatribe consisted entirely on the material being too hard for the older kids. The vice-principal pulled out another gem here. She claimed that one student had been so scared/upset with how hard the first day had been, that they just quit the camp and never came back. Pretty ridiculous to judge it on one day, but okay, some of these Korean kids are pretty damn coddled, so I'll buy it...at first. My curiosity got the better of me and I had to check the attendance sheets to see who it was that quit after the first day. The conclusion? Nobody. Sure I had some students who missed a day here or there, but then they'd be back the next day. What the hell was the vice-principal talking about here? My suspicion is that she had problems with my class material (why I have no idea, as she can't speak English at all, so what the hell does she know?) and in order to "save face" and speak in a round about way, she said the parents and kids complained, rather then saying she had a problem with the class. This is where our cultures differ. Where I'm from, that's called "BS" and "lying" and "deceitful", which are generally bad things. Here that same behavior, in this instance, is a culturally accepted mode of conflict resolution.

So I modified some stuff to ensure the kids had nothing to whine about. We had originally been watching the movie "UP" in small segments and answering simple questions, like "what is his name?, etc", but since that was too hard, I decided to simply teach some phrases from the movie, which the kids wouldn't really have to do anything for or think at all, outside of maybe listening to me (which most didn't), so it couldn't possibly be too hard. Heaven forbid they have to use the language and learn something. Wouldn't want that.

Day 3 also featured the longest argument, as I ended up leaving school a full hour after I'm supposed to due to more garbage. This time the vice-principal was bothered by the fact that I was teaching the same material to each of the three older student classes (I have 1 class of 1st/2nd, 2 of 3rd/4th, and 1 5th/6th). I believe some "student" (yeah, doubt that) complained that the B-2 class (which contains the higher level 3rd and 4th graders) was learning the same thing as the B-1 kids (who are the lower level 3rd and 4th graders). I guess they were offended that the smart kids were learning the same stuff as the dumb kids and because they are smart they deserve better things than the dummies. Frankly, I thought the camps were supposed to fun and entertaining, so I went out and tried to find 3 weeks worth of fun stuff. I tried to explain to the vice-principal that I wasn't making 9 (well 10, if you count the little kids) fucking weeks of different material, but obviously I was talking to a brick wall. God, I hate brick walls. She even called up the co-teacher and we spent 40 minutes talking, me rubbing my forehead due to the massive headache I know had and saying things like, "I don't understand what the hell you want me to do...please tell me what this woman wants" while she said things like, "Can't you just change it a little?" Not the co-teacher's fault here, just the impossible to reason with vice-principal.

The woman's last suggestion/complaint dealt with teaching "Key Words" and "Key Phrases", which are important words or useful sentences in each chapter in our school textbooks. In her mind, all English classes should be taught through extended repetition of a few important words or sentences. Wait, I thought camps were supposed to be fun? Cuz this stuff would be the exact opposite of that. Naturally, I was confused. I tried to explain that I wouldn't be teaching anything, simply allowing the kids to use the material they already have. My message didn't make it through the brick wall, obviously. She also wanted different key phrases for each of the older kids. At this point I just gave up, made up some shit, typed it up, turned it in and went home. alsdfjsaldkfjslkdfhslakdhflsjf. Yeah.

Now, for some of my favorite quotes from the vice-principal over the camps (or at least as close to accurate as I could remember).

As to why the students couldn't bring their own materials (scissors, colored pencils, paper, etc) and why we needed to supply the stuff: "It's cold out so the students can't bring their colored pencils and materials." Ummmm........what? How does the temperature have anything to do with the kids bringing a backpack with their things. I don't even understand a little. Not one bit.

Advice on how to better control my classes, as they were running amok and not listening to me: "You must speak louder. If you talk loud, the students will speak louder and pay attention." ahahahahahah. What a joke. Let me get this straight...if I speak louder (aka yell) at my students, they will raise the volume of their responses, rather than whisper and they will inherently listen to me. Not sure I agree, as I tried this tactic last year when I would lose my patience with the kids and they would stop talking for a second, be shocked at Eric Teacher being loud, then resume talking. So if I can teach my entire lesson in that one second they shut up, then I'm golden.

As for improving my general teaching methodology: "You must be funnier and more exciting and more expressive". Right, how could I forget? I'm not an English teacher, I'm an English speaking clown that gives out candy and makes balloon animals. How silly of me to forget.

"I want to stab myself in the face." Actually, that one isn't a quote from the vice-principal. That one's from me and I wrote it on the paper when I was trying to remember the quotes for future reference. I think it accurately expresses my frustration at the time.

As for the kids? Well, in comparison they weren't so bad. They were pretty good for the 1st week, but they went downhill from there. I originally assumed that, this being a optional English camp that students had to go out of their way to sign up for, the students would all want to be there and would be well behaved. Hahahahah. Man, am I dumb. Most of the kids were really good and did their work and wanted to be there and I catered to them obviously. Then there were the few students who were forced into the class by parents, clearly didn't wanna be there, and refused to do anything. I went out of my way to involve them, going so far as to doing their work for them at some points, to no avail. So eventually I stopped bothering if they weren't gonna give a shit. I would ask them to join a group for the activity or give them the worksheet or paper everyone else was working on, they would flat out refuse, so I would move on and help the other students, while they went back to staring at the wall or playing Game Boy or reading a book. Fine by me. Hope you guys can learn English really well through osmosis.

Those kids weren't so bad, as they quietly did nothing, but didn't disrupt class. The disrupters....ugggg. A small group of boys in one class really never wanted to do any of my activities, but they did want to play with the lawn darts and plastic bowling ball set at the back of class, so whenever I turned my back, they were setting up and letting loose. And they weren't even any good at bowling.

All those students pale in comparison to one kid. This kid sticks in my mind because he was an absolute asshole that caused difficulty everyday. Originally he just didn't do his work and sat at the back of the class doing nothing. That evolved into talking to other students and distracting them from working. One day in particular, he got into a little argument with another boy and then put him in a headlock, which continued despite the other boy pleading him to let go, me standing overhead and then me telling him to knock it off. Now all this distracting class and talking wouldn't be so bad if he actually stopped when I asked him too. He didn't, he just ignored me. I had to confiscate candy from him one day and he pulled out a whiny temper tantrum the next day when I told him I threw away his one piece of gum that he wanted back. Everything about this kid just bugged me. The last week he starting claiming that he had academy classes to go to and that he had to leave class 10-15 minutes early. Now, my class was only 40 minutes long and these kids were already showing up 10 minutes late anyways. Now, I don't mind kids being late, cuz I'm getting paid whether they show up or not and not teaching is always easier than teaching. They are only wasting their own time. However, the idea of showing up for only 10 min annoyed me, so naturally I didn't let him go early. Over time I got tired of his whining, plus he was probably gonna leave on his own anyways, since he didn't listen to me, so I let him go. The other students told me he just went to a PC room, which also pissed me off, as he was lying to my face. By the last 3 days, he was arriving to class, signing in, then leaving for the PC room. Not surprisingly, those were the 3 best days of the camp for that class. I really wanna meet his parents so I can slap them for raising such a selfish, self indulgent asshat. I already know who's gonna get asked all the questions during the regular semester by Eric Teacher. That's right clown, payback is a bitch. I know holding a grudge is wrong, but I have to punish this kid in some way for his awful behavior, since I have no other method or recourse.

Man, there was a lot of grouching in this post, but those were the worst 3 weeks I've had at this job. Period. No debate. Tomorrow I'll discuss the stuff I did outside of class to keep me from going insane.