The grass is greener.....where you can actually find it

Yes, ladies and gentlefolks, after 8 months of searching, I have finally found accessible grass. No, not the widely popular recreational drug (shame on you for even thinking that...don't you know its illegal?), but the green follicles that adorn the ground in most places (most places not being Korea). I can't really blame Korea, as in a country trying to squeeze every possible use out of every inch of land, green grass just for looks can't really be a high priority. Now, I've seen grass in some spots, namely Olympic Park in Seoul, but the key word is accessible grass. Though this spot may stretch the definition a bit, as it is located about a 25-30 minute jog from my apartment along the Han River jogging path. Though the distant location does give it a nice quiet feel, devoid of Koreans, which Olympic Park, with its million or so Koreans cluttering the premises at any given time, cannot hope to offer. So, you ask, what did I do upon finding this holiest of holy sites? I laid down and took a nap...sort of. Being a connoisseur of lazing about and napping in the grass (remember? English major and a lazy one at that, leaves a lot of free time), I can tell you that this might have been the least comfortable grass I've every laid on, all stiff and coarse and generally unpleasant. Not like I cared. Eventually I got up and continued with my day, as I was in the midst of a jog and it was only 52 degrees and windy, so I really didn't feel like staying forever.

As you might have guessed, the past week has been terribly slow, given that my joy upon finding grass made page 1. School is the same old, same old. Have even less work to look forward to in the next couple weeks, as midterms eat up most of this week, next week features a national holiday on Tuesday and a trip to Everland on Friday, and in several weeks the entire school goes to the English Village for an entire week. Not sure what the school intends for me during that week, but I sincerely hope I don't have to go to the English Village. It's a bunch of religious crazies that run the place. Middle of nowhere (30 minutes by bus from Yangpyeong and 15 minutes from any town at all), no smoking or drinking allowed in the rooms (as you apparently live a dorm life) and no members of the opposite sex in one's rooms. Ouch. I would in all likelihood start spouting anti-Christian hate by Tuesday morning and that would possibly be detrimental to my continued employment. The weather has been dog shit for the past week as well, so that's always a plus. Looking back at previous posts, I notice just how much the weather is responsible for my mood. Couple weeks back, when the sun was shining and the temperatures were great, I was having a ball. Now that its been rainy and shitty and cold for the last week straight, I can only describe my mood as blase.

This lovely weather ruined a perfectly good weekend in Seoul, and that is simply unforgivable. Wanted to go to a baseball game but it was raining in the evening. Boo. Wanted to go to the blues club we managed to find, but didn't wanna just sit around for several hours waiting for the live acts to start, so we just went home even earlier than usual. All my time in Seoul accomplished was a haircut, which as usual was a struggle. I had never realized the issue that haircuts would be before I came. It was always pretty easy back in the States, just describe the cut, and the lady would more or less get it right (Maria, you can just shut your damn mouth about my haircuts...not everybody can look as good as you do all the time, its just too hard to reach your demi-god status on a regular basis). Here not only is the language issue, but the fact that the Koreans have no idea how to give me a simple Western cut. They have experience in women's haircuts and women's haircuts (aka Korean "men" haircuts....Wallin 9,999,999,999 and counting, Anna and her Korean "boys" 0). This was my second time at the particular place, which did a decent job last time and the owner speaks a little English. This time I laughed when I saw the final result. The picture I showed him in the book was some Western guy with a similar cut to what I get, and this is important, the hair in front was laying straight down. What I got: hair parted on a slant across the face, heading to one ear, which is quite popular for, you guessed it, Korean haircuts. I almost asked him if I looked Korean to him. "Do you see the arm hair, the not black and straight hair, the whole not two feet tall thing, the inability to speak Korean? Do I look friggin Korean?" I can't really expect too much from a country that has been idolizing this guy and his absurd hair for the past several months.

http://www.kbs.co.kr/drama/photo_gallery/popup_new.html?Drama_Type=&Img_Code=151005002&mcode=005

Now, it may not be clear whose absurd hair I'm referring to, but in this case its the guy front and center with the perm. Now this particular show has been going gangbusters over here and all the students can't stop talking about it, so obviously I see his hideous hair wherever I go and it makes me frustrated to no end. Now, I'm no supporter of the American idea of "manliness" and not doing "girly stuff", whatever that may be, but I have a huge problem with a dude having a perm. My problem is that no one, male or female, should care that much about their hair or spend that much time getting it ready. While the lack of this male pressure to be manly otherwise you are gay is refreshing, I do badly miss the lack of pressure on men to spend huge amounts of time on their appearance. Over here, the boys have to deal with all the same looks bullshit that women have to deal with. If only the West could find a way incinerate this societal pressure for women to dress and look a certain way. But that is asking way too much of the good ol' USA, at least for right now. Now quick quiz. The chick on the right in the picture, the one with the lighter longer hair? You see her. She's pretty good looking isn't she? She's pretty flat in front, but she is Asian, so that comes with the territory. Otherwise, though, she's good looking. Yeah, you'd buy her a drink at the bar. Now here's the stunner: its a dude. Bammm. Have I blown your minds? Probably not. I just can't pass up a chance to burn the Korean men. Ohhhh Anna, that's another point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66yP7UKNf0g

This last link is just to give you an idea of what we foreign teachers are working with over here, in regards to music and popular culture. I'm not sure if it was the pink suits, the shiny pink suits, the colors, or the breathtakingly bad song, but I'm really in need of an abortion for my eyeballs. And I don't even mind the particular boy band most of the time. This was just much too much. Ohhh and the best part, the entire song/video is just a advertisement/plug for the phones that everyone was rocking, which the model type is appropriately named Lollypop, I believe. Yeeeesh, artistic integrity my ass.

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong (I gotta learn to shut my damn mouth...)

Yup, imagine that. After last week's concern over fucking it up in the interview with the recruiter, I went....and fucked it up in the interview. Dohhhhhhh. Yes, yet again I lost out on a possible job because I simply don't know when to shut my big fucking mouth and smile. Maybe someday I'll learn, but just not yet. I had the interview with the recruiter last Wednesday and it went....not well. She called me using Skype and I had forgotten that my status on Skype read, and I quote, "I hate my f#$kin' computer more than I hate the Korean education system...and that's saying something." Well, I obviously forgot about this and what should be the first thing the interviewer says once we connect but, "So I see you don't like the Korean education system." Mooooother fucker. Already cornered, I truthfully explained my frustrations and problems with the education system and my co-teacher in general, all legit hurdles and obstacles in the way of the children learning English, but not like that mattered. Logic has a way of being discarded like that. She naturally asked what I expected to be different in Seoul, since that is where I am applying to go to. I told her that I didn't expect much to be different, but I wanted to take my chances with a new "whitey wrangler" at my new school. I explained that my primary reasons for moving to Seoul deal with maintaining my sanity and my health. Presently I exist in a bit of a Catch 22, as I go to Seoul 5 times a week to maintain my sanity/have something to do, but I sacrifice sleep and food at times, as I average about 5 hours of sleep from Tuesday-Thursday and consume my dinners past midnight. Were I to quit going to Seoul and capoeira, I would be well-rested, but I would go insane from boredom and inability to blow off steam. I chose to be tired. Sadly, the interviewer saw no merit to this, as she responded rather gruffly "Well, lots of people wanna move to Seoul". I guess the idea of a happy and sane and rested teacher is a good teacher is a load of crap. So regardless of all my credentials and experience and the fact that I'm presently here in Korea and haven't pulled a midnight run yet, despite my issues, I'm not SMOE material, according to this recruiter. Fuck them. I just moved on to the next SMOE recruiter.

Otherwise, last week wasn't too bad, as I got several trips all shored up and squared away. The ticket for the Philippines trip finally came, not without a fair amount of drama (We are in Korea, its just the protocol). The ticket was originally delayed because the travel agent screwed something up with the name on the ticket. All I know is that once I emailed her my passport, she sent some frentic and nonsensical email about the name on the ticket being wrong. I won't be surprised if there is drama when we leave in August and there are issues because the ticket name doesn't match the passport name. The DMZ trip got officially paid for so if you hear nothing from me after May 23, you'll know what happened. Either I got shot/kidnapped by the North Koreans, died from a bungee jumping accident, or got shot by the North Koreans. Actually, the last one seems like a pretty XXXXtreme way to die. I could do worse. The only loose end to tie up is working out my vacation days with the co-teacher. I emailed the GEPIK coordinator in hopes that she would call the school, shout at them, and then I would magically have the vacation days, without me being involved in any shouting. Sadly, the coordinator told me to have the coteacher call. I'm in the midst of finding a subdued and gentle way of saying, "Hey lady, you fucked up big time. I get 25 vacation days, not 19. You are full of shit and a liar. Call this number and have the coordinator tell you how full of shit you are." This one may require more tact that I possess. I really want to call her out to her face on this fuckup, but obviously, with all the confusist bullshit running through Korea's veins, being publically brought to task for you fuckups doesn't work. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Confusianism.

The school is much the same as ever. English classes with coteacher: mind numbing for the student and myself and nobody is really learning anything. English classes I teach solo: enjoyable, but frustrating due to inability to punish the children, thus they do not obey my authority. I've got on student in particular that I have no idea what to do with. This is the same student that I was told was "stupid" a while back. While I don't wanna call her stupid, she is by no means hauling in MENSA awards or genius grants. The problem is that she is most certainly emotionally and maturity level-wise delayed. In one class last week, I spent most of the hour pulling a comb out of my beltloop, as she spent the whole time trying to covertly lodge a small comb in my pants' beltloops. It wasn't even like she would just do it when I walked by. She actually would get up from her seat and wander around the classroom, trying to sneak up behind me. She makes no attempt to even look like she is doing work. While the other low level or lazy students are wily enough to simply cheat off their smarter peers (another issue, but less bothersome), she makes no attempt to even cheat. In another un-related incident, I took away her cell phone in class and she spent the rest of class whining and nearly crying about it. Then after class she simply followed me around and repeatedly asked for the phone. It got so bad that students from the next class started yelling at her to just bugger off, but to no avail. Eventually she got so desperate that she actually physicaly dove (just her hand....well they are small people, so I thought I should clarify) into my pants' pocket to retrieve her phone by force. I was shocked and freaked out to no end, as this violated so many rules of teacher and student conduct. I obviously had to get her out of my pocket post haste, lest she find another "handheld device" that I keep in my pants, so I actually had to forcibly remove her arm from my pants. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with her. I don't know why students like her are in my classes, probably so the other teachers don't have to fucking bother with her. It's students and encounters like these that make many foreign teachers feel much more like babysitters or day-care providers, rather than actual students. We spend alot of our time making sure the students are fed, happy, awake, and changed, as opposed to simply teaching. Ohhh well.

For the most part, though, the kids are great. To add to my already hefty legend in their eyes, they begged me into giving a capoeira demo during gym class. It was shitty, naturally as I'm no good, but it was enough to bring them to hysterics. So the kids (in their eyes obviously) have an awesome foreigner that can do handstands and crazy b-boy shit, can dunk, is really tall, is really cool and funny, and is really handsome. I'm assuming they think this is what 하느님 (God) is like. And they would be right. A God does walk among them (pauses to bask in his own greatness). It's amazing how talkative most of the kids are now, as opposed to how what they were like when I got here. They are so comfortable with me, that today one student who is as timid as human beings, nay mice, come, actually came up behind when I wasn't looking and tried to scare me by shoving me in the back. Had I been 3'2" and 26 pounds like her, I probably would have gone flying from the shove, but obviously I didn't. It was just amazing that this student, who looked like she was gonna pee and poop herself if I asked her to say the most basic thing in English when I arrived, now is doing stuff like this. How far they have come.

The weekend offered new sights and sounds, but mostly the same smells, as all of Seoul carries the same weird funk. The crew journeyed to World Cup Stadium to take in a FC Seoul soccer match. A good time was had by all. The stadium and surrounding complex was gorgeous, at it was constructed for the World Cup back in 2002. Shame the current product and attendance isn't befitting such a grand structure. The stadium holds around 63,000 people and obviously they aren't gonna fill that for on a weekly basis, since the Korean league falls kinda low on the cultural chart as far as sports go, but they didn't even get close. Now I already knew that attendance was bad from the Seongnam game I attended last fall, but attendance of 5,000 or so looks a lot better in a stadium of 12,000, as opposed to a 63,000 seater stadium. Empty seats aside, the game was great fun. 8,000 won (about 6.50 dollars) for an endline seat, 12,000 (10 dollars or so) for sideline tickets and 3,000 won (2 bucks) for big 32 oz beer cups makes it a economical, and possibly quite drunk, time. Plus the few fans that were there were all into it, cheering and chanting all game. Just great energy all around. Too bad FC Seoul is pretty mediocre and could only manage a 0-0 tie. I could talk for hours about their poor play, but lets just leave at the fact that their main offensive strategy of "boot ball" (just dribbling the ball around and then booting it into the box, hoping and praying that the one striker can out head two or more defenders and a goalie to score) was frowned on by my high school coaches. Either way, a good time was had, and more good times will soon be had as Jamie and I will be back in 2 weeks for the next home game, with a baseball game somewhere in between. I walked away from the stadium with an FC Seoul jersey for my brother (finally!!! been searching all over Seoul for one...if I wanted a Man U jersey, I could have chosen color, year, sponser, etc, but home town team....uhhh, nothing). With the jersey in hand, I can finally send home the last bundle of...gulp...Christmas presents. Shut up. It's all the time zone stuff. It's still like Jan 1st or something over here. I don't know. Just shut up.

I'm high on life (cuz I can't find anything else here...)

I must be getting my fiber, cuz I've been so fucking regular with these here blog posts. Wow, apologies for that last sentence. It just popped into my head and I knew immediately that it had to be put down on paper, regardless of how inane and absurd it may be. But it is true, as I've been relieving myself of my thoughts on a weekly basis. This one looks to be shorter than most, as I'm in an insanely good mood with nothing to really complain about, and everyone knows that 90% of the energy expended to open and close my mouth goes towards bitching, with eating taking up about 8% and saying nice/good/happy things filling in the last 2%. If I'm in a good mood, I usually shut the hell up, so as not to ruin it with the sound of my own voice. There are exceptions to the rule, especially when events of an EPIC nature are unfolding, as the world deserves to know just how EPIC that one beer pong match was. For those of you in the dark, trust me, it was pretty fucking EPIC.

On the job front, not too much new. I've settled into the standard job niche, where one spends every waking second there thinking about what the hell they are gonna do as soon as they clock out. The bonus is that there are actually things to look forward to once I leave. God, there is so much shit going down in the coming months that it's making my head spin. I'm pretty sure sometime over the weekend I had an epiphany where it dawned on me: this is what having a life is like. Man, its not half bad, now that I think about it. Not to take anything away from the weekends spent alone in my apartment, writing my poetry and listening to Dashboard Confessional (man, Chris Carrabba, you so get me), but I think this “life” thing might actually be better. But more on future plans in a little bit, as I should probably finish with the school stuff. As for the extra classes that were proposed for me last week, I was told the next day that they had been canceled cuz no foreign teacher would that that shit with a 10 foot pole, surprise, surprise. Problem solved. The only other issue at present is concerning my next job. I've managed to find a recruiter that deals with SMOE (the public school organization for Seoul) and have successfully sent in the paperwork, so now all that remains between me and contact with actual school is the interview with the recruiter. Unfortunately, its a phone interview, so I can't take advantage of my most powerful aspect: my gorgeous and glistening ivory skin. Don't worry, I'll find a way to sneak it into the conversation. “So where do you see yourself in 10 years?” “Well, that's a good question...did I mention I'm white. Yup, white as white can be. Shit, my mom and brother are basically gingers, I'm that white.” Done. Hired. The interview also poses the unique challenge of making sure the recruiter sees who I am, but not too much of who I am. I keepz it realz, perhaps much too real (and for the record, I still stand by my decision in the SAFEWalk interview. Drunk people do make me laugh. The shit they do is hilarious. End of story. I should have gotten that job.).

As for the highlights of the weekend, there isn't a huge amount to say. Since there was no ridiculous encounters with Koreans, no bullshit to wade through, no soul crushing disappointments, there isn't a huge amount to say. Saturday saw the group heading out for Jethro's birthday. We decided to head to Apgujeong, the ritzy of the ritzy in Seoul, supposedly, since it is also home to Seoul's only reputable jazz club. The group stopped for dinner at a fusion Chinese or something restaurant in the neighborhood. This place had a freakin' Koi pond in the middle of the restaurant. That's how we knew it would be good. Actually, I got good mixed up with expensive. A Koi pond guarantees that the restaurant will be expensive, not necessarily good. But this place just so happened to be both. I, per usual, ate my fill, as the majority of the party was unable to finish their dishes. Enter the Human Garbage Can. 3 other party members' dishes later, and I was satiated....kind of. From there, we began our long and drawn out journey to the jazz club. Thanks in part to my inability to perfectly read a Korean map or write down the telephone number, to several Koreans inability to know the difference between their asses and holes in the ground, and simply lousy maps, we journeyed long and hard. Sadly, as we didn't pack enough rations and supplies for the journey we were forced to consume one of our party members to survive the journey. It's true what they say, Asian does leave you hungry in 2 hours. My major faults withstanding, we were lead astray by a lousy map that insinuated that the jazz club was near the Apgujeong subway station instead of 30 minutes away and various Koreans that didn't even know the direction to the fucking enormous department store located near the jazz club. At long last, we found the club and not a moment too soon, as I was becoming increasingly frustrated. I was walking at least 25 yards in front of the rest of the group instead of the usual 10 or 15, that's how angry I was. The jazz club was everything that I was looking for, but sadly it didn't appeal to the majority of our group. Probably had something to do with drinks being 3 times the standard price here in Korea. Maybe. Either way, Jethro and I were badly outvoted and we moved back to the bar “Beer Hunter”, yup, for cheap and copious amounts of liquor.

Sunday brought the first official capoeira park gathering for the new year. The group was scheduled to meet at 2pm at Olympic Park and I arrived fashionably late....2 and a half hours later. Though, it wasn't my fault, mostly. The traffic was bad enough to add an additional 30 minutes to my already lengthy bus ride and I ended up going to the wrong subway stop and ended up having to walk all the way across the park to meet the group. Going to Olympic Park? Go to the Olympic Park subway station, right? Fuck no. That would be logical. Finally, I arrived to discover that it wasn't a practice, it was a demo. Oooops. Now, I thought the crowds back in Madison were ambivalent to our performances. That was before Korea. Seriously, we had 5 or 6 guys pulling off the manner of floreio that only Carlos could do back in Madison and the crowd gave us nary a woop. I couldn't blame them at some times, as the music was pretty god damn weak. Even though we had a group of 10 or so, I felt like (and probably was at times) the only one not on instruments involved in the music, whether by singing or clapping. On a side note, Olympic Park made me very happy, as I saw real grass, you know, the kind you can sit on. Though, in true Korean style, the Koreans don't actually sit on the grass without a mat or some kind of buffer between themselves and the ground. You know, cuz you wouldn't wanna get dirty or get yucky grass all over you. Fuck no, that would be awful. Clearly. I didn't think I would be excited about grass, but then I realized I haven't seen green grass in 7 months, let alone sat and relaxed in its sweet embrace. Hot.

Back to the future plans. God damn it looks busy in the near future. Just finished up paying for my Philippines ticket and finalizing travel plans. We are just in the infancy stage of planning for what we are gonna do while we are there, but already we are all starting to get pretty antsy. Amy started looking at scuba diving packages today and I nearly pooped myself of excitement. Cept we may have to take a ferry to travel around. The ferry: my nemesis. We meet again. In brighter news, I believe they may be attempting to “hook me up” with some of the locals. The following conversation appears exactly as occurred. Person: “Hey, listen that reminds me. You said you'd never pay for sex, correct?” Me: “Go on....I'm listening.” Person: “But what if...when we are in the Phils, a girl would say...come up to you? Not asking for money or anything. She just likes you. Would you prefer that? Because I'm told that it can be worked out.” Me: “I do prefer consenting sex, yes.” Interesting, is it not? But even beyond the Philippines, things are looking up. The weather is getting even more gorgeous, but will soon be moving into sticky and uncomfortable, but I really couldn't care less. I'm just tired of being cold. Warm weather brings weekly capoeira rodas in the park, as well as baseball and soccer season. Having spent the majority of today trolling various Korean sites to find schedules for said sports (it was a slow day, alright, lay off), I have before me a comprehensive list of games. I shall now commence attending said events. Last we have an upcoming trip to the DMZ, coupled with bungee jumping? Naturally, since those things go together like bacon and chocolate chip cookies (but wait...those two things do go together, hmm...). I've been assured that we won't be bungee jumping into North Korean territory or even into the DMZ, so I'm less excited. I've also been told there will be rice cake making, but not during the bungee jumping. Again, a let down. Korea is just not eXXXXXtreme enough for my tastes. I'll have to settle for plain old boring bungee jumping. But then again, we will presumably be jumping off a bridge that services motor traffic. And since we are in Korea, we are liable to get hit at any second. That probably knocks the whole thing up to maybe a two X, but not the 5 X I was looking for. The car accident thing is no joke. I live in a third floor apartment on a small alley and I'm still afraid of being hit by a car, in my apartment, most of the time. You just never man. You never know.

The Cultural Revolution, in a way (no not really)

It's Monday again, and that means its time to post once again on the happenings, if such thing exist, in my life. As I write this post while munching on dried banana chips and listening to Sigur Ros, life doesn't seem so bad. Banana chips are a new delight, having discovered the fantasy of flavors concealed within a mere 5 minutes ago. While I don't agree with Korea's policy of drying each and every food product imaginable, banana seems to turn out pretty well. And guess where the bananas are from? The Philippines, which brings me to my next point....We are going to the Philippines, for realzzies. Amy and I spent most of last week in a bit of a fog, as we were perpetually fluctuating betwixt various vacation day numbers, but now everything has be finally cleared up to our liking. The basic problem was this: the copy of the GEPIK contract the Madison crew signed was a bit old and sort of out of date, as it only had 14 vacation days listed. Somewhere between when we signed in May and when we started the contract in September, GEPIK raised the vacation days from 14 to 20, and it was reflected in the newer contracts (aka everybody's but ours). Our schools obviously knew nothing about this change and are holding to the contract while we claim that the vacation applies to anyone starting sept 1, regardless of what the contract says. After much waiting and praying, we heard word from Dain Bae that we do indeed get the extra vacation, leaving me with 15 vacation days to still play with. The Philippines trip (I swear to God that I'm gonna learn how to spell the Philippines correctly with spell checker before this whole thing is over) will be from August 1st to August 15th, so I'll still have a week left over to do with as I please, whatever that may be.

The weekend was especially pleasant as it offered something new, which is vital given my attention deficit dysfunction. Friday evening saw the group trying a pretty damn classy Italian restaurant in Itaewon. The food was so delectable that I momentarily forgot my hatred of Italy (well, actually just Italians themselves....well, actually just Italian-Americans.....well, actually just one Italian-American and he had it coming). Buoyed by our inflated stomachs and spirits, we discussed on our homeward jaunt a great many things. Jethro and I in particular discussed the absolute lack of culture in our lives. I, in particular, was starving for some conversation about literature, music, cinema, and anything in between that can be declared even remotely intellectually stimulating. Since we only see each other once a week due to our locations, the majority of our conversations seem to play out in a manner akin to this: "Ohhh my god, you will not believe the shit my co-teacher/students/principal pulled this week......" "Are you fucking serious? Dude, I don't even believe that just happened." "What the fuck, man? Only in Korea, seriously, only in Korea." so on and so forth. For once, rather than bitch and moan about it, I decided to do something (I don't believe it either). I must really be starved for culture then. Now Yangpyeong isn't a horrible town, in fact its quite quaint, but culture it doesn't have. Sorry. Dirt, mountains, kimchi, and crusty old country folks do not culture make. I feel a little bad always referring to the old folks as "crusty", but really I can't think of better word for them. They literally look "crusty", like bread that's been left out way, way too long in the open air and has gone hard and stale. Our first cultural conquest was decided to be an art museum of all things. We settled on the Seoul Arts Center and its exhibition of Gustav Klimt's works. I knew almost nothing of his work going in (sorry, my knowledge of turn of the 20th century Austrian expressionists is a little weak at the moment), but the exhibit was fantastic. The exhibit was a pretty big deal as this was the first and probably only Asian exhibition of his works ever. I even found the other onlookers to my liking. The place was crowded, sure, but there was absolutely no pushing, shoving, and no rush to get from point A to point B like everywhere else in Korea. There was a relaxed and calm atmosphere surrounding the whole complex, which marks the 2nd time I've encountered that here in Korea (don't remember where the first was, but I figured I would be generous and give them the benefit of the doubt). When we got to his erotic nude sketches, there were no giggles and snickers and freakouts about the penises and vaginas in front of them, simply observation. That really surprised me given the kinda pathetic reaction that Doc Manhattan's "Empire State Building" got during the Watchmen showing. Seriously, I thought I was watching the movie with a room full of 12 year olds. Most importantly of all was the very favorable attractive young women to oxygen molecules ratio. I'd put it at a very acceptable 10 oxygen molecules to 1 attractive girl. I like this social circle. I even walked away with a small framed copy of one of the pics.

http://www.artchive.com/artchive/k/klimt/klimt_medicine.jpg

What? Did you think I was gonna walk away with a pastoral landscape pic? Cmon, you know me better than that. Our cultural thirst was not quenched, so we headed up to the music hall on the grounds of the complex and got ourselves a schedule for the various symphony orchestras shows for the next month. Thankfully, they have performances here on the weekends, which we can actually attend. The Seoul Symphony Orchestra, the big guy, apparently only performs during the week. This would seem stupid and ridiculous to the untrained eye, but one must remember that we are in Korea. All bets are off. But wait, there's more. We did some searching and found some jazz clubs that appear to be to our liking. In fact, we plan on frequenting a rather upscale one next weekend for Jethro's birthday party. They have a dress code, which obviously poses a problem for yours truly. I don't think "I listen to bands that don't even exist yet" or "I love Rounds cock" t-shirts will cut it here. Damn.

As for school, the last several days have been amusing. Had I been in a worse mood, they could have led to me pulling my hair out, but given my sprightly mood, I can only laugh. The co-teacher has been especially friendly and nice the last couple weeks, which lead me to believe that she finally had that mature adult blue whale removed from her ass. Possibly, but it know seems more likely that she was buttering me up for her next round of unpleasant demands, which she clearly knows I won't take lying down. Last Friday, when driving me home, she explained that we would have an open class in July. Nothing out of the ordinary there, as native speakers usually have to deal with at least one of these a contract. Basically, it consists of the co-teacher and native speaker getting together and making a really bitchin lesson, rehearsing it with the students (yes, I said rehearse, they practice it so that the kids answer perfectly to make it look like they actually know English), then performing it for several onlooking teaching tandems from around the area. The open lesson is always concluded by speeches about how the children are the future or some drivel. In general, this is only of the only times where many co-teachers actually plan something, as this is a big deal for the Koreans, as it is basically a job review and is necessary in order to get promotions/pay raises/move to better schools. It means nothing to the native speaker, so we usually slip to the sidelines and let the co-teacher actually do the planning and prep for the class. After my co-teacher introduced the open lesson, she told me that I, not we, but I, would have to come up with the lesson plan and make the preparations. Then in all seriousness, she asked if I had come up with an idea for it already, which is only fair given I had learned about the open class at least 30 seconds before. I just laughed and politely told the teacher I didn't have any ideas yet. I laughed to myself knowing full well that I have no intention whatsoever of doing all the legwork for her. If this crashes and burns, then its her head, not mine that rolls. Look forward to updates on that front. Today brought even more laughs when the co-teacher explained to me that Yangpyeong is putting together more of the weekend supplemental classes that they did last semester. Just to recap that, back in October, the co-teach came to be practically begging, saying that they really, really needed a native speaker and would I do this for her. Being a nice guy, at least back then, I said yes. The teaching job was miserable. 3 hours a day for 3 consecutive Saturdays, teaching really obscure/difficult/stupid/preassigned material to lousy students who clearly didn't wanna be there with a co-teacher who simply wasn't around 90 percent of the time. I obviously had no intention of ever accepting this extra work again, ever. So today the co-teach explained that they are trying to do extra classes in the evenings after my regular classes end (starting around 5 to 5:30) and also on Saturdays and Sundays. I explained to her that I go to Seoul on Tuesday-Thursday and are probably in Seoul on Saturday and Sundays too. She then began whining and moaning about how she can't get any native speakers for these programs and what is she gonna do, ohhh, Eric, please help me out, won't you help me out just this once? No shit, no foreigners wanna take on this much extra work. And the whole ohhh please help me bullshit is really unprofessional. If she came at me in a professional manner and set the job in front of me, rather than trying to guilt trip me, I might have been at least a little bit more inclined to the offer. Her approach is just disgusting to me. I explained to her that I don't have to do this work as per my contract states and I simply don't need the money and don't want to take the job, end of story. She got a bit flustered, uttered a bunch of "igo"s (Korean expression for "Oh my god") and eventually told me that I should think about it, working once or twice during the week (Monday and Friday, my only nights to unwind during the week) and 1 or 2 weekends a month. Now the job in the fall was simply 3 weekends, while this one, now that I think about it, seems even worse, as it sounds like these 1-2 days a week and 1-2 weekends a month would continue on for god knows how long. I told her I would think about. And I did for like a microsecond (actually, that's a lie. I didn't think about it at all). All this and the fact that my school will be receiving notice from GEPIK soon that I actually have 6 more paid days of vacation than previously thought should add even more spice to the mix. Given the stink they made about me using 10 vacation days over a 2-2.5 month long vacation, just imagine the fit over me using 15 vacation days over the span of 1.5 months. It should be interesting. Relations with the co-teacher and school can only go one direction from here on out, and you the lucky reader get to travel along for the whole ride. Hold on to your asses.