"My Trip to Taiwan" continued (part 2)

My first full day of adventure in Taiwan began much earlier than I liked, but unfortunately I can't sleep till 10 or 11am and then still have 12 or so hours of daylight to enjoy. Sacrifices must be made. Again, as I was in a hurry to get on my way and it was too early for most breakfast establishments to be open, I settled for 7-Eleven food for my breakfast. Yes, I am my father's son. Sadly, this wasn't the only day this happened. So when people ask me what the food in Taiwan tastes like and I respond "7-Eleven", you'll know why. Judge if you must, but its hard to go wrong with a bottle of milk and some bagels.

With breakfast out of the way, I quickly hopped the subway and after 30 minutes on the tube followed by another 30 minutes on the bus I had made it to my destination: Wulai. Now, I knew how in the middle of nowhere Wulai was supposed to be from my book, but I didn't realize just how true that was until I got there. I mean, the place is only 1 hour from Taipei and only 30 minutes from the end of the subway and Taipei's suburbs, so it can't be that isolated...can it? Well, all I can say is that mountains and trees and wildlife greatly outnumber the people. Which means its my kind of place.







As you can see, very very quiet town.

The town itself didn't seem to have anything going on outside of tourists heading in from Taipei to hike around and stay in the hot springs/spa establishments. As I had no interest in this particular type of relaxation, I moved quickly out of town towards the waterfall and hiking trails outside of town. Not too much to say about the hiking that can't be told much, much better with some pictures.











As you can see from the last pic, they actually have a little tram that runs from downtown Wulai to the waterfall outside of town. Damn it. 20 whole minutes I wasted walking, on flat ground, to get to that waterfall. Grrrr. I probably wouldn't have fit inside those little cabs, though.

At the waterfall, a mini town had sprung up to accomodate all the tourist money flowing in, from hotels and little resorts to all manner of restaurant and store. As much as I like my nature untouched by civilization, I can't complain about having lunch at a local diner and having this for a view out the window:



From here I headed on even further out of town towards what my book said was a nature reserve well worth seeing. Along the way, I met 2 ladies who told me that the preserve was closed due to landslides and other damage caused by the typhoon (damn you typhoon!!!), but there was another place to head to. Now, I know that English is the world language and all, but I still get quite a shock when I'm walking all by myself in a far away country and I happen to pass 2 old ladies who turn to me and say "Excuse me, but how far is it to the waterfall?" in perfect English. Just a little jarring. But really cool. So I can kinda understand why Koreans cream their jeans every time they hear someone (not Korean) speak their language. It is pretty cool.

After a bit more walking, I made it to the, ummm, well I'm not sure what it was. Other than a trail along the side of the river. As for chance encounters with English speakers, a Taiwanese guy with his family happened to see the Badger shirt I was rocking and inquired as to whether I was a Badger. Turns out he got his Master's at the UW. And that wasn't even the first Badger I met so far, as somebody on the plane the day before had seen my shirt and had begun discussing the utter disappointment that was Badgers football (the near loss to UNLV or somebody, not the loss to Mich St). I guess the moral of the story is that Badgers are everywhere and one shouldn't ever slag them, as it will cause an international incident.

As for this particular trail, here are some pics:









After finishing up the trail, I headed back towards town to catch another trail on the opposite side of town. This is where my day got very interesting. The trail itself was gorgeous, but not super eventful. Except for that piping running through the middle of the trail. That was new.



Not in the way at all.

The trail was, according to my maps, going to eventually lead me to some streams or ponds or something that you can swim in. And given I had been carrying all of my things on my back all day and had done a little bit of sweating while at it, I was really looking forward to the swim.

Then the trail disappeared. Or so it looked like it did. In fact, it actually went 3 different ways. But none of them looked like an actual trail. One direction had stairs leading to god knows where...but it was roped off. That's probably not it. Another direction also had stairs but the trail appeared to end not too far past the stairs. Again, no go. Which leaves straight ahead. Only that direction appears to turn into somebody's porch. I kid you not. Directly ahead was a paved patio/entryway to someone's house where folks happened to be grilling out at that particular moment. Hmmmmm.

While contemplating what to do, a nice old couple wandered up to me and asked me if I needed help figuring out where to go. Again, they spoke in very passable English and again I was a more than a bit surprised. After they talked to the folks grilling on their patio, we were able to learn that the trail were were looking for was indeed straight ahead, so we continued. I say "we" because the couple invited me to travel with them, and as they had helped me out and seemed like good company, I agreed. Turned out to be a good decision.

While we walked and talked, we discussed a great many things. I learned that they had honed their English when the husband had attended the University of Missouri some 20 years ago for his master's degree and through his work with the Taipei Power Company he came into regular foreign contacts (GE, etc) so he certainly knew his stuff when it came to English. And no Maria, I didn't really ever ask their names. But then again, they didn't ask mine until after we had been talking for few hours (and when they sent me a nice email checking to see if I made it back to Korea safely they wrote my name as "Erica", so clearly the names weren't a huge thing). We discussed Korea at length as well as the differences between Seoul and Taipei. All within the realm of normal for folks that have spent some time in both cities. What really struck me was when they started asking me US politics questions about what I think of Obama and his policies. All I could think was: "Wow, I can't even have this type of conversation with most Americans and here I am, across the globe, in the middle of a forest, talking Obama health care. Wow." And for the record, Taiwan has a national health care program too. Get with the program America. Please.

We continued on the trail, chatting as we went, until we finally found the ponds. Sadly, they were really crowded as this particular day was a national holiday, thus so many people out hiking on a Wednesday. As the new friends weren't interested in swimming and I didn't feel like fighting for pond space, we quickly turned back towards the entrance.

At the entrance, they asked me what my plans were from here. When I told them I was just heading back to Taipei, they offered to drive me back to town, as they live in town and were going that way anyways. Wow. I wasn't kidding when I said the Taiwanese are super friendly, even to strangers. As it would be easier than riding a bus the whole way back and because they seemed like really nice folks, I agreed to the ride. I'm sorry mom. All those lessons about never getting into a stranger's car, and here I am riding with strangers in a strange, foreign and scary land. And they didn't even have to offer me candy.

Ohhh, here's some pics from that particular trail:







All along the way back to Taipei, which normally takes about an hour, but with all the holiday traffic it was closer to double that, we continued discussing Korea, life in Korea, Taiwan, life in Taiwan, America, you name it. I did particularly enjoy when the discussion shifted to college. The couple's only daughter had just started college on the other side of country just 2 weeks previous and they (well, mostly the wife) were worried about the atmosphere at colleges, if she would be studying, and other general questions about college life. As you can see people and parents really aren't that different, no matter where on earth you are. I explained about some of the things that took place on colleges nowadays, but made sure to preface that with information about how Madison is more drunk than most and how their daughter would surely study more than I did. Didn't want them to freak out too bad.

The weirdest thing that came up in the conversations all night? This guy:



I shit you not, John Denver honestly came up. They actually made several John Denver themed puns and jokes. Honestly. They definitely name-dropped lyrics from "Sunshine on my shoulders", "Rocky Mountain High" and "Take me home, country roads", which all fit in quite well given all the mountain trekking and hiking and country road traveling we were doing. How did they have all this John Denver knowledge stored up? Well, they had watched a John Denver concert on TV or DVD the day before. Haha. Talk about out of left field for a American pop culture point. All in all, the John Denver stuff was super amusing, and super cute, as the old couple was riffing between each other with the John Denver stuff.

Well, the time came when we arrived back in Taipei, but the couple decided to take me up to the better national park on the north side of town for more sightseeing and some dinner. Hell, what am I supposed to say to that? Jesus, these people are way, way too nice. So we headed up north to Yongmingshan National Park. By the time we got there it was too dark to hike around, but we could still grab dinner and get some solid shots of the sun setting over Taipei.

After climbing all the way up the hill in the car, we found our way to the restaurant. And man, was it a nice one. Large spacious place, with a huge patio overlooking Taipei and the setting sun in the distance, which was where I took these shots.







We ate, we enjoyed the lovely view, we chatted, we talked about the mainland Chinese sitting at the table right next to us (you can definitely get the sense that the Taiwanese look down on the mainlanders a bit). Sadly, after several hours relaxing in the perfect weather (did I mention how much nicer their weather is than Korea's or Wisconsin's?), it was time to go. The couple again was gracious enough to drop me off at a subway station near the mountain. We said our goodbyes, exchanged emails, and I said multiple thank yous for all the trouble they had gone through. Then we parted. Sure, I'll probably never see them and maybe won't even get back to the country ever again (but I'm damn sure gonna try and make it back), but they still made a very strong impression that will surely stick with me long after the individual details of the trip have faded. It's people like these that make me feel much better about the world we live in.

Pics: See Taiwan photos, Album 1

"My Trip to Taiwan" or "I'm Dumb, Taiwanese are Super Nice, and Nature"

Super catchy title I know. But basically the whole vacation boiled down to my stupidity, the incredible generosity of the locals and lots of nature. That was pretty much it. And since the trip is still fresh in my mind, I've decided to ditch the chronological order and write about this and leave the posts about my parents visit and the batizado for some later date (hopefully soon though).

Well, thanks to Korea's big family holiday of Chuseok, where everybody has to go home and suffer the relatives, I got a long 6 day holiday, from Tuesday through Sunday. For all my wrangling over tickets, I was unable to find one that could get me into Taiwan early Tuesday, thereby giving me time to peruse the town before heading out for nature stuff on Wednesday. But with a 5pm flight you'll be sure to get to the airport on time and be in no rush to prep for the trip, right? Ummm, not really.

For starters, I got a really late start on account of spending the previous night out drinking. And really, could I have said no? The Korean class folks invited me out to a bar that shows NFL games. Exactly, I had to go. It's been a while since I've seen the games. Hell, last time I was watching the Packers, Favre was still the quarterback. Yeah. Nothing too special other than the male students ignoring the girls and watching the game instead. In our defense, the girls consisted of some of our teachers, meaning we would have had to talk to them in Korean. And there is no way I'm passing up football for korean practice. I'm pretty sure I would choose a curling broadcast over Korean practice, though. The teachers were very surprised to find how talkative I am in English. Like I'm gonna be a near mute, stuttering and stammering idiot in my native tongue? Yeesh, give me a little credit.

So I got up a bit late on my travel day. No big deal, still plenty of time to get to the airport. Well, not content on waiting till I got to Taiwan to be an idiot, I soon realized that: 1) I had forgotten to print off my e-ticket at school the day before and I have no printer at home 2) I had forgotten my umbrella at school. Now, the umbrella issue wouldn't usually be a thing, except this particular day happened to have the heavens throwing bucket after bucket down on poor Korea. And given I'll be carrying some delicate and important materials with me in a terribly un-waterproof backpack (passport, money, camera, etc), the umbrella was a must. So out I ran for a umbrella. Sure, the convenience store was only 10 feet away, but I was already soaked by the time I got there. Or at least my shoes were, meaning I would be in wet, cold shoes for the remainder of the day. Obviously not very pleasant or healthy.

With an umbrella, I was now ready to go and try to print off my e-ticket. The nearby PC room had a printer but it was working so well and my printout makes it look like I have double vision. Wonderful, but it will have to do. Load up, get on the bus, go. Now, the rain was certainly heavy, but at this point I was indoors and was pretty sure it couldn't thwart me any more....I was wrong.



Ahhhh, this is getting biblical!!! Where's my ark???



To be honest, I only chose the second pic cuz I find the man struggling futilely to pedal against the water to be very very funny.

But yeah, Seoul was flooding a little bit. And that first pic? That's the exact road my airport shuttle had to drive through. So traffic was a little backed up. Meaning I wouldn't be getting to the airport so quickly. Although, understandly, I wasn't so optimistic that the flights would even be running through this nasty of weather.

Luckily for me, the flights were all running and since everybody was tied up in family obligations and not traveling abroad over the vacation, the airport was empty. Eerily so. I got through the ticket line, got my ticket, got through security and immigration in less than 20 minutes. That is how its done.

With a quick 2 hour flight to Taiwan, then a shuttle ride that felt like it took just as long to downtown Taipei, and a brief walk to my hostel, I was finally here. And let me say right away, Taipei I'm a big fan. Seoul, if you are eavesdropping, you should be taking notes, for this is how you can go from my least favorite major Asian city I've been to to my favorite (and yes, I do rank Manila ahead of Seoul if for nothing else then being less than an hour away from some of the most beautiful places on Earth. Seoul is probably a couple of hours away from the places, maybe even a few countries away).

Taipei is/has:
1) Way less people than Tokyo or Seoul. How does 2.7 million to 15 million grab you? I never got the feeling that I could at any moment be buried under a landslide of people, like I do in Seoul.
2) Much better city planning. This one is big. The city's streets and roads are wide enough and have enough lanes to accommodate the traffic. City parking, even street side parking? Yeah, they thought of that. Lots of parks, trees and green space placed all over town? I approve.
3) Streets with names. I had completely forgotten that when looking for something, you can use the address for that establishment then follow maps to the exact location. Clear, logical and well marked major roads, set up on a grid with well marked and labeled back streets and alleys as well. Beautiful.
4) a much more relaxed populace. From the way they dress (much more casual and not as many shiny suits) to the way they behave on the subway and streets (they actually queue up for a subway and don't push over old ladies getting off the train in order to be the first one on and get a seat!!!!!! Manners!!!!), the people seemed to be less inclined to running themselves into the ground with stress and work and everything else.
5) great stuff to do within spitting distance. Taipei itself is much more navigable than Seoul due to the much smaller size, but it also has great stuff to do within an hour by subway from the city center. Beaches? Forests? National Parks? Mountains? Yeah, they got all that.

Anyways, with my shit finally settled, I headed out on the town to catch some sights and grab some dinner. Right away, Taipei caught my interest.



For whatever reason, the subway's tokens being actual tokens really excited me.

But having heard it was THE night market, I set off for Shilin Night Market for some people watching and some food. And amazingly, I was able to find the location without any trouble. Wait, that's right I'm not in Korea, of course finding the location would be easy and the maps would be very clear and well, correct.



And if you still can't find it with the maps, just follow the throngs of kids. I was able to blend in and move amongst them with little difficulty, given how Asian looking and short I am.....



Having little interest in buying clothes, which the majority of vendors were dedicated to, I set out looking to fill my stomach. Now, this wasn't terribly easy, as this was the first time really flying blind when it comes to food. When I came to Korea, I already could read the alphabet and most restaurants have pictures of their wares, so you can get a good idea of what you are eating. In the Philippines, they all spoke English and in Japan, I had Collin or some Japanese speaker to help me out. But here in Taiwan? I'm on my own. I can't speak Mandarin and I certainly can't read it. Hell, I didn't even bother to learn what "Hello", "goodbye", "yes", "no", or "thank you" were in Chinese. The restaurants, I quickly found, also don't usually have pictures. So unless I was sticking my head in the pot, I was flying blind. I eventually stopped at one place that looked good. It smelled awful around the vendor, but I'm still not convinced that that wasn't because some manner of animal had taken a dump nearby and no one had picked it up. Or it could have been the smell of whatever was cooking at one of the vendors in the area. Really don't know. But the waitress was able to convey that the food was "chicken". At least, that's what I think she said. Regardless, I sat down and was soon presented with the following:



Looked good enough, smelled good enough and tasted good enough for me. It appeared to be pieces of chicken, still on the bone, floating in a soup that also featured some noodles and veggies. Pretty tasty and satisfying for 2 or 3 dollars.

From there it was back to the hostel and into bed to rest up for a busy day tomorrow of hiking. But before that, I made a startling discovery about the nature of the universe. It now appears there are two forces in existence which one cannot escape from, no matter where they may hide. The first, unsurprisingly, is Jesus and the Christians. Obvious I know. The second, at least in Asia, is K-pop and Korean pop culture. Groan. Yes in just 5 hours in Taiwan, I saw several buses advertising the newest lousy Korean drama, a middle aged man with a super cheesy K-pop girl group song as his ringtone, and most of the songs playing in the Night Market were old, out of date K-pop songs which brought back wonderful memories of my ears bleeding and having to listen to my students sing them all the time about a year ago.

Well, I didn't get nearly as much done on this post as I would have liked, but I've gotta get some other stuff done tonight, so I might as well end this post right here. Stay tuned.

Pics: for more pics, see the facebook albums

Still Catching Up: The School Trip

So before we get onto the teacher's trip, I need to discuss my school's tech guy, who might be the coolest Korean ever. For starters, he isn't super obsessed with appearance like most people his age (male or female) and usually just settles for a t-shirt and pants or something. He also enjoys sports, especially basketball. As you might imagine, we got along very well from the start. Sure, he's religious but he doesn't seem to be super crazy with it. He's okay with me laughing at him for having to waste his entire Sunday at church (and I mean the whole thing from 6am to about 6pm) and he always jokingly tells me he's going to pray for me to help me with this or that. Anyways, we were talking last night at the teacher's dinner and he mentioned that he had a date this weekend. In time, the discussion drifted towards sex (what? you think that only happens when I talk to westerners or in English? ahahah silly you) and I had to explain to him that "I don't want to wait" till marriage, that is. With that information and his knowledge of my general sleezy nature (I've recently been nagging him to go with me to a Hot Yoga class, where you do yoga in 90+ degree rooms, so we can creep on and maybe ask out some of the women there....he's yet to agree to it), he was able to correctly peg me in the following conversation.

Me: Hey, you should hook me up with some of your date's friends!
Tech Guy: Really? Are you sure? Because her friends are...um...they like Jesus.
Me: Oh....that's okay. I can change.
Tech Guy: Really? You would change?
Me: No.

Well played friend, well played. You understand ohhh so well and yet I've known you for such a short time. So it probably won't work out with his date's friends. But at least he'll be praying for me. And having J.C. on my team is never a bad thing, since the ladies love J.C.



Ride on my brother. You've earned it. People like you make me feel really good about the future of Korea.

Now on to the trip with my school. Back in mid-July, when the semester ended, our school decided to take a trip to the beach for relaxing and drinking (I presumed). So at 10am on the last Friday of the semester, we set off. Collin, the other foreign teacher, and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into because, well, nobody had really told us anything. We knew that we were heading to somewhere near Boryeong Beach, which seemed like the worst time to come, as the biggest foreigner party/festival started the next day. Mud Fest, as it is called, is basically an excuse for people of all races, but mostly foreigners, to lounge around a beach, play in the water and get shit faced drunk. All the stories I've heard of it make it sound like the Korean equivalent of Spring Break. As you might imagine, I didn't really wanna be anywhere near it. We were arriving Friday afternoon and staying until Saturday afternoon, while the 2 week festival didn't really start (officially) until Saturday evening, but I still didn't like my chances for walking the beach and not running into really shady characters. But then the rain solved all of that. More on that later.

While on the bus, the foreigners kept to themselves, reading for most of the ride and avoiding everybody else. I think we would have felt worse about avoiding everybody if our co-teachers weren't in engaged in scintillating conversations about their husbands, their kids, their diets, or their clothes (they are all female) and the men on the bus weren't drinking their boredom away. Generally, I avoid the liquor in the A.M. and so far that wisdom has worked pretty well for me.

As for the rest of the 4 or 5 hours on the bus, the highlight was when we stopped at a rest station and I found the much too small swingset around the back of the station. Sure, its a little difficult to swing when you have to tuck your legs against your chest just so they don't drag on the ground and kill all your momentum when you swing through, but it was so worth it. And the old thing didn't break or kill me or anything, despite the all too frequent shudders and groaning noises coming from the swingset.

Thanks to the rain, that swinging was nearly the highlight of the entire trip. I had forgotten we were in the middle of the summer monsoon season, meaning that whatever you try to do, indoors or out, the rain will cock block it. Just how it goes. Our first item on the itinerary was to travel to some rather famous ski slope, obviously closed to skiing in July, ride the cable car/lift to the top and then hike around for several hours. Nature, you say? I'm in. However, we got shut down. So after waiting around at the slope for 30 minutes for the place to open up, and watching several of the male teachers become so bored (or so drunk?) that they started playing soccer with an empty beer can, we were informed that due to all the lightning and storms that were hanging around at the top, they wouldn't allow anybody up, for obvious safety reasons. Apparently mountains are quite high and thus make them a high risk for lightning strikes, which I'm told are bad. Boo, as it seemed like it would be really pretty.



This cancellation put us in a bit of a bind, as we had slotted 3 or 4 hours for trekking around up there. In a bit of a scramble, somebody managed to discover that there was a Wine Brewery nearby, where they kept and possibly brewed the stuff in a cave. Cool, but how are we gonna burn 3 or 4 hours there? I mean, I'm sure we tour the place then get a quick sample or something and are on our way in 30 minutes.....Ohhh, stay and buy some bottles of wine, you say. But to what end? What's that? Drink enough of them and almost anything will seem fun enough to waste 3 or 4 hours doing?....That just might work. Sadly, it did turn out to be the quick wander in, sample some wine, buy some bottles and leave. Ohhh well. I guess we had just resigned to the fact that we would be arriving at our hotel several hours early.



After more driving, we arrived at our hotel, only to find out it wasn't actually a hotel. My understanding of it was that it's a Seoul Office of Education training center/retreat complex and our school rented out several rooms for this particular weekend. Meaning that rather than a comfy bed, I would be sleeping on the floor, old school like. But its okay, as I'll be sleeping like a baby on those floor mats. You know, waking up innumerable times during the night, crying incessantly, and occasionally soiling my diapers. Ohhh, that's not what that expression means??? OOPs.

Being as we were a few hours earlier than we expected, we could have wandered around town and killed some time. Thankfully, somebody in charge had their head on straight and we immediately moved into the most important aspects of the trip. Namely the eating and drinking to excess. Once everybody was squared away in their proper rooms and had stowed their bags, the party moved towards dinner. We could have wandered the beach and most everybody really wanted to do just that, but again the heavy rain was having none of that. Straight away to dinner it is.

Dinner itself was the standard deal. Lots of food, lots of kimchi, lots of amazement about how much food I can eat, lots of men getting hammered and trying to get me to drink with them (it never works). There was, however, plenty of discussion about this "balloon volleyball" that the teachers would be playing immediately after dinner ended. As expected, Colin and I were out of the loop, meaning we were trying to figure out what the hell "balloon volleyball" even is and whose team we were on. As it turned out, balloon volleyball was exactly what it sounded like. Using one of the school's sleeping rooms, we would move some sort of obstacle into the middle to separate the two halves, then teams of two would play volleyball against each other. 3 touches per team, if the ball hits the ground the other team scores the point, etc. Rules are the same, except for the one about the men on the team having to play on the back line. Given that we are playing with a balloon, you would be correct to assume the back line players don't have to do a whole lot of anything.

Now, I thought, because this was a nice relaxing trip/retreat that folks wouldn't really care much about this silly little volleyball tourney. Man, was I wrong as usual. These people really need more competitive outlets in their lives, as it was pretty nutty watching this shit. Our team, in order to get some practice time before the matches, casually disappeared from dinner early (we really did). Colin and I happened to be on the same team and the real battle was to see who between us was less interested in the competition. It was pretty close, but I think he won. We trained with the rest of the subject teachers from the office, who weren't on our team, but again, we really didn't care. As for the training, it consisted of me lightly setting the balloon for the ladies at the front to spike. As you might imagine that required little to no effort on my part. Since it was a balloon there wasn't any need to rush to position myself properly for the contact, then all I had to do was very lightly tap the balloon over to the ladies in the front line to wack the hell out of. The ladies, on the other hand, couldn't have been more focused. They discussed how hard to hit the balloon, where on the court to aim it, whether open palm or closed fist was better for striking the ball, etc. Again nutty.

Soon enough, the games started and knew we wouldn't be doing anything in the back. That and the fellow teachers were insane. Arguing over calls, rule changes and clarifications, general bickering, sweating, you name it, it happened. And the women up front? Terrifying. The organizers had decided to use a coffee table as the dividing line, meaning the ball could fall and just rest on the table during matches while still being in play, which lead to numerous scrums and dogpiles and pileups on the table itself. The lack of concern for one's wellbeing, the aggression, the brutality....it reminded me of a rugby scrum.

Our game was no exception. Colin and I had been paired up with some ladies from the administration office and they controlled the balloon for about 99.9% of the time. In truth, I think I touched the balloon all of 4 times during the entire match. But really with 3 bloodthirsty ladies up front, how exactly is the balloon supposed to get to me? We started strong, going up 7-2 in a first to 10 game, only to lose 10-9 or something. Just like that, it was over. Colin and I had exchanged numerous glances during the match and it appeared we were feeling the same thing. Namely "What the fuck?" and "Huh?" and other expressions of incredible confusion. So we decided to use this free time to wander the beach and find some much needed peace and quiet.

As luck would have it, the rain had finally stopped. However, it was 11pm, so that made picture taking quite difficult, but still the beach walk was well worth it. The rain had kept the people at bay, so we had the beach mostly to our selves. No run ins with US soldiers, no run ins with meathead English teachers, no nothing. And for that I can be thankful. Here some shots from my night photo-deficient camera.











At this point things got fairly interesting, as Collin and I were called back to the dorm/hotel by Collin's co-teacher to hang out with the rest of the team. We were more than a bit unsure as to what was up, as the rest of our team was female and spoke minimal English, so what exactly would be accomplished was beyond us. Turns out they just wanted to drink with us. Although that was pretty surprising in itself, as Korean women usually seem uncomfortable drinking around men. Not like I can blame them. Hell, I feel uncomfortable just being around drunken Korean men (por ejemplo at school dinners) and I'm not even of the opposite sex. Then again, I have gotten some suspicious attention from the fellas at said events. Terrifying....or arousing? Could go either way.

Even being invited to such a event was quite the compliment. "I don't think you will drink yourself to a blackout or become a creepy skuzzball if you do happen to reach said blackout." Damn, that's gotta be nearly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I prefer to imagine that they invited us, well me specifically, because the ladies just wanna stare at my beautiful face while listening to beautiful English words spill out of my beautiful mouth. Sadly, that probably isn't true.

Throughout the course of the drinking and game playing, I made sure to avoid as much alcohol as possible, probably due to my fear of drinking games. I assume my fear of such games stems from the first drinking game I ever played way back in Oshkosh which was named, unbeknown-est to me, "Let's shit on Wallin and make him drink alot". Frankly, I don't see my fear of drinking games to be that unusual really. Not like I had much to worry about with this crowd. Small Korean women with minimal tolerance? Exactly. Then there was poor Collin. The ladies would discuss and explain the rules of the game in Korean, meaning I could pull out the details for the most part, but Collin? Looked like a sad little confused puppy with a bunch of beers being sent his way. No idea what was going on.

Don't worry it gets more interesting. During one particular game, which required counting up to 31 (in English as Colin didn't know enough Korean to play that way), the young secretary messed up the counting. "13, 14, 19". Easy enough mistake to make, but still hilarious to everybody else, as we all work with 10 year olds that could do that in their sleep. She didn't seem to appreciate me laughing at her (getting laughed at for a second language mistake by someone who never, ever speaks Korean does seem pretty douchy, now that I think about it), and took some surprising action about it. She turned to me (we were sitting next to each other), looked me square in the face, hellbent on causing some pain (I could see the death in her eyes!), then abruptly grabbed me by the shirt collar and looked ready to haul off and smack me. Or at least that's the reasoning I'll give myself for flinching when she grabbed my shirt. I'm a wuss, what can I say? Although a lifetime of getting beat up by women would do that ya. She never did hit me though, only stared me down, then let go of the shirt while muttering under her breath about how we should play in Korean.

And what pray tell, do you think my reaction to this encounter? (Hint: it shouldn't be too hard to figure out)

If you said something about me instantly being attracted to her, you would be right. I am a masochist who seems to gravitate towards crazy or seemingly crazy womenz. In my defense though, the amount of women here that don't follow the cutesy/innocent/sweet girl act appears to be so small that finding someone that breaks that mold is really something to get excited about.

The next day, on our way back to Seoul, we stopped in at art gallery/greenhouse/place of wonder outside of town. Again, we would have liked to visit the beach. Or walk it. Or even look at it. But guess what? It was still fucking raining. So we just moved on. The art gallery, if that's really what it was, was simply a house that was filled with artwork and sculptures. Weird sculptures. I really liked the house though and its design, what with the nice balcony and the spacious sitting room and view out onto the woods behind the house. And my interest in the house had absolutely nothing to do with the naked lady (or nearly naked lady) sculptures situated across the house. I swear, hand on my heart.






Although, now that I think of it, my appreciation might just have been a result of having not been in a proper house in something like 2 years. I miss houses and all their roomy and cozy goodness.

This art park/art gallery place had a supposedly impressive sculpture park. Outside. And it was still raining, so we didn't do that. But the indoor greenhouse/forest? Ohhhh, we so did that. Twice. To say that I was caught off guard when we went into this place would be a huge understatement. I assumed it would just be like every other greenhouse I'd been in. Just rows and rows of plants. However, "greenhouse" probably isn't the right word for this place. "Arboretum" would probably be better. "Wonderland" would work too.







I think you can understand why I didn't wanna leave. It was big too. Probably football or soccer field long from end to end and twice (or maybe thrice) as wide. Filled with plants and other green things. And windmills. And those ponds? Full of fish. And did I mention the cute young girls working inside this wonderful, wonderful place? If the apocalypse does come to pass while I'm still in Korea, I know exactly where I'm going.



Sure, the place had a restaurant too, but its in the gift shop that this place really shines. Want a cute pet to take home and love until you lose interest in them? They got that.



Want vaguely or super rascist dolls to take home and disgust your friends with? What if said dolls were also super creepy? Done.







Sadly, every fairy tale must come to an end, and with heavy hearts we had to leave this wonderful place. But the memories (and/or nightmares) will remain forever.

Videos:

Still Catching Up: Out on the Town

Yes, sprinkled in between trips to the serene wilderness, the trip with the rest of my school (don't worry I'll get to it eventually), and my parents vacation here, I managed to get out on the town, while drinking a bit too much and generally acting like an idiot with my friends. Plus there's a couple of my patented "Face, meet Palm" FAILS sprinkled in there too. And if I know my friends and family, there is little they like more than my fuck ups. Enjoy.

The first of my adventures took place in Hongdae. Not like the location matters at all. Hell, I could be ridiculous and FAIL plenty hard in my own living room. Actually, I think the Mound St. crew could attest to that fact. As usual I was out with all girls. Strange how that always works out that way. Was that way in Madison too. As a result I've learned many things. Terrible, horrible, awful things about how the female body works and about sex. From now on, I'm sticking to the stork story for where babies come from, as the details of that explanation don't make me want to cry. Although, I should apologize to the ladies though, as they always have me around ruining all their chances of getting hit on or finding a guy. I get it. Men feel intimidated with a Grade A specimen of all that is man like myself hanging around the girls. Obviously they know they can't measure up and just don't even try. So for being just too damn handsome and charming and awesome and tall, I am sorry ladies.

Perhaps because I'm always killing their game, the ladies decided to invite more people to join us, but refused to invite any women. So later in the evening when they all had somebody to cuddle up with, poor old Eric was sitting alone and not nearly drunk enough in the corner. Not like that particular feeling was new or anything. I happen to know it much too well.

Things got more interesting when we met an acquaintance from the Jeollanam-do trip. See, had it just been me on the trip, I wouldn't have talked to this particular and thus would have missed out on all the juicy gossip. So perhaps being social does have its advantages. But since Amy DID actually talk to this girl and get to know her on the trip, she recognized her right away at the particular bar we were at and struck up conversation. Cue drama. See, this acquaintance has had a pretty interesting last 2 weeks since we saw her. During the trip she was traveling with her steady boyfriend of at least a year. Everything seemed fine. Cept, a few days after the trip he just up and told her he didn't love her anymore and they were finished. Nothing too crazy right? But ohhhh there's more. What does she attribute the collapse to? Our mutual friend Jenna. She claims that Jenna done stole her man away cuz she a ho. OHHHHHHH SNAP! Well, she probably didn't say it exactly like that. But she certainly believed Jenna to be the cause. How exciting. It was like Jerry Springer, but right in front of my eyes. Awesome. If this is what middle and high school were actually like, let me just say that I'm sad I spent all my time actually studying. My mistake. I had major doubts about the accuracy of the girl's claims, given how easily some men (cough cough) take to following at her heels without any action on Jenna's part, but that doesn't make it any less exciting.

A few weeks later, we reconvened, this time in Anna's town of Ilsan. After some dinner we found ourselves at a music bar. Let me just issue a very heart felt thank you on behalf of all the foreign folk here dying for some decent (aka listenable) music after all the auditory horrors we endure (perhaps I may be exaggerating, but at this present moment 3 of the current chart hits feature choruses that consist of 1) "madonna donna madonna donna" repeated multiple times 2) "Wake Up" repeated 15 times per chorus and yes, I did count it out and 3) "beddie battie bettie boddie" or some other similar sounds/noises). You see, these "music bars" have the good shit, so to speak. Their walls are full of records and CDs of every foreign artist of quality ever. Want CCR? Done. The Rolling Stones? Done. Earth, Wind and Fire? Done. As you might expect, most of the clientele in these places are foreign, but their owners are always Korean and always the coolest motherfuckers around. I would posit that there is a direct correlation between having good taste in music and being an awesome person. That's not to say that Koreans don't show up, but you can always tell which songs they chose. Allman Brothers Band, Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, Jason Mraz, Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley, BB King. Which of those artists doesn't belong? If you said "Jason Mraz" you aren't an idiot. Personally, I like his stuff, but to be at a music bar with all that incredible selection on the walls and to have someone pick not one, not two, but three Mraz songs? Awful, awful, awful.

Anyways, we were enjoying ourselves when someone in the group (cough Amy cough) started dancing and suggested we all join her. Apparently we had a bit to drink, as we agreed this would be a good idea and joined her. Some time later, Amy decided to dance without her shoes because....well, I don't know. Because that's what Jesus would have done? I don't know. Again, we must have had a few because we also agreed this would be a good idea and joined in again. Now this wasn't your usual hardwood or concrete barfloor that stick to and such, as the floor was carpeted and relatively clean. Still, its a bar floor, so certainly not spotless. It did cause some confusion the next day when trying to understand why my feet were so damn dirty. "OOhhhh, right the barefoot dancing....."

When everybody was tired of dancing, they settled down to listen to the music and discuss my failure to get laid...wait, what? Yeah, I'm not so sure how we got on the topic, but all of a sudden I had several people swarming me, telling how I should respect myself more and what I should do to "get it done", so to speak. Hell, I was even getting lectured by a guy that I had just met 2 hours previous. Thanks guy whose name I don't remember, your advice was super helpful. I enjoyed their concern, but at some point I kinda just zoned them out. Probably right around the point where somebody suggested that to get myself out there I make a Craigslist ad. They were serious. And really drunk, by the looks of it.

Soon enough, the group lost interest in me and I was able to focus on more important things, like the 3 Irish girls that had entered the bar. Don't get your hopes up folks, I still failed in the end. But not without trying. Wait, they were actually Scottish. Shows how much I was paying attention when they were talking....or how much I know about European geography (always seem to confuse Ireland and Scotland, dumb I know) Anyways, with Amy already making conversation, being the super social lady she is, I had my easy in. We got to talking about Scotland and Edinburgh because no European really gives two shits about what life is like in America while I am immensely curious about life in Europe. After some time, I noticed that Amy and the rest of the gang were leaving. They said they were tired and wanted to go home, but I find that highly suspicious. Methinks they bailed to force me to talk with and try and pick up one of the girls. What can I say, they are always looking out for me.

After a bit, the ladies said they had to meet a few friends at their post-rec soccer league game celebration and invited me to tag along. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't 40 or so foreigners standing around and drinking outside a convenience store. The crowd was a large collection of players, friends, girlfriends and other there to celebrate the soccer club's rec league championship or something like that. I would appear that the group consisted of every Brit, Scot, and Irish living in the general vicinity was there, as I might have been the only American there. Which made the conversation difficult when it inevitably drifted to "What is your town in England?" or "What do you think of (insert random English town)?". Since England is considerably smaller than the US, it would appear that every Brit has been to every single city in the entire country and thus has a story/adventure to tell about Leeds, Sheffeld, Hull, Blackpool, or whatever. Even the tiny towns with one pub and 2 people living there, they've been there.

In time though, the little old lady running the convenience store we were squatting outside of shooed us off as it was 11pm or so and we were drinking and merrymaking outside near residential areas. The massive whitey fest disbanded and went their separate ways. I obviously followed my new Scottish acquaintances to the next bar, where is was time to work my magic. I'm just kidding, I have no moves. Clearly. Once at the bar, each male had to stake claims for the female of their choosing. Unlike the animal kingdom, where the males would have fought to the death, we humans settle the issue in a civilized way: super awkward conversations. A taste:

Other Guy: "Hey man, which girl you going for?"
Me: "What?"
Other Guy: "Well, it looks like you're going for that girl you've been talking to and I'm just wondering if its okay if I go for her friend over here."
Me: "Ummm...yeah go ahead man. Feel free."

Animals have it so much easier.

This however, was where it all fell apart. Sadly, I can't take much of the credit for this one. My body just betrayed me. After having survived an early onslaught of hard liquor unscathed, I figured my wussy stomach was gonna hold together. Not so, not so. A couple sips into my first beer at the new place and I knew that I was in trouble. Serious stomach queasiness set in and all other concerns were brushed aside. I can now definitely say that there is a primal instinct stronger than the need for sex and that is the need to not vomit everywhere. To hopefully help me out, I headed outside for air. On 3 separate occasions. However, even after the air breaks, judgement day still came. While on the way to the toilet for fear of the serious rumblings going on in my tummy, the proverbial dam broke. But since it was me, I played it cool. Walking to bathroom, turn head, open mouth, vomit, close mouth, turn head back, continue towards bathroom. All without breaking stride. And really you can't feel too bad for the hallway. I certainly wasn't the only one who made a mess there. Once business was concluded properly in the bathroom, I decided to leave, as I was obviously in no shape to continue. Tough luck but what you gonna do? So I headed out to find an ATM before grabbing the cab home. Upon obtaining my cash, something unusual dawned on me: I felt great. Stomach queasiness, fatigue, everything. Gone. I was then again faced with a choice: should I stay or should I go? Hey, that's a Fall Out Boy track isn't it? I'm pretty sure it is. (that ones for you Maria). Well, quite unsurprisingly, I chose to stay. So I rushed back up the steps to the bar, confident that luck and good fortune were on my side for once, only to find....that everybody had left. Crap. I guess I had disappeared for longer than I thought. So I went home, sad and alone.

Our final adventure took place several weekends later, at the final gathering of the crew. We had decided on dinner in Anna's town, then drinks for however long that took us. It was just the small group of us and one mutual female friend of Amy and Anna that I had never met. She seemed nice, but I really didn't make much notice of her. Dinner, nothing out of the ordinary. 1st bar, just drinking and chatting. It wasn't until we got back to that music bar from the previous adventure that things got interesting.

As it was a music bar, they have numerous pencils and sheets of paper available for writing down song requests. Funny that those little pieces of paper would have so much effect on the evening to come. While writing away, I noticed that Amy had suddenly gotten super secretive about her music choices, hiding the paper from view while exchanging hushed discussion with Anna. Obviously, this peaked my interest and I had to know what was on the paper. Hell, they were looking at me, while sharing their hush-hush conversation, so I knew it had to be about me. Course, that was probably part of their plan anyways. To get me interested in whatever they were writing.

I assumed it was some manner of goofy song or whatever. Just goofy kids being goofy. I was very, very wrong. Soon enough, they slid the paper sorta discretely under the table to me. What did it say? "Eric, Person A (for her sake, lets not use her name) told us she likes you. You should go for that." Person A being the mutual female friend who I had never met before that evening. But they told me via note? It's like the middle school I never had. Charming. But this certainly changes things. It's true that I still wasn't attracted to her, but now I had a legitimate opportunity. And given how desperate I'd been of late for anything, it took me all of a nanosecond to decide to go for it.

Since the group knew all too well how piss poor I am at picking up women, they did all they could to help me out, which was equal parts sweet and annoying. When we moved tables, the group conspired to have us sit together, despite not really having exchanged any manner of conversation up to this point. Poor unsuspecting Carrie actually sat down between us and then got yelled at and told to sit on the other side of the table with Amy. It was so incredibly not subtle that I broke out laughing. But it achieved the desired result, in that we sat next to each other and chatted. Mama Bear Powis, in all her meddling glory, actually dragged Anna away at one point because I was talking to Anna too much and thus scaring away the new girl, despite Anna being very much just a friend.

We chatted for a long time and actually managed to have some decent conversation. "you know, you are like the most beautiful person I have ever, ever met in like my entire life? No, no, I'm totally serious and stuff. You could be a part-time model or something." No, not that wonderful drunken conversation. We discussed comics and she told me how she knows Neil Gaiman and how she and her friends hung out with him a bunch of times and how her friend slept with Neil Gaiman for a while. For the record, I didn't believe a word of what she said, but that didn't make it any less interesting.

I realized at some point that the rest of the crew had pulled back and seemed to be simply observing what I was doing, which was weird but it certainly was sweet that they cared so much. Just wish they would be less voyeuristic about it. Take my conversation with Jamie a few days later: "Eric, I was a little worried at first, with you not making any moves. But then I turned to say something to Amy and when I turned back, you had your hand around her ass. Atta boy. I couldn't have been more proud of ya, son." Like I said, very creepy, but sweet.

Eventually the rest of the crew had had enough to drink and tried to ditch us in an attempt to allow some alone time for the girl and I. At least thats what I hope they were doing. The two of us decided to head to a different bar at the same the rest of the group was leaving, so we tried to catch up to them and share the elevator with them. They instead tried desperately to close the door before we got there. Again, I hope they were doing it to help me. Otherwise they are just huge assholes. Hmmmmmm.

The two of us headed to a new bar, where we chatted about various stuff and drank some more. THE END.

What you say? There has to be more to the story? Well, there is, but a public forum blog is not the place for that. Don't worry, there were certainly more fails to end this particular evening, but you'll just have to talk to me in private to get those details. Sorry.

Still Catching Up: The Jeollanam-do Post

Phew. With all the craziness of my parents trip to Korea behind me (don't worry I'll get to that post eventually), I can now settle back into my job at school, doing nothing. Meaning there is plenty of time to get some posting done. This time its the post about my trip to Jeollanam-do. Lets get to it.

About 2 months ago (JESUS, has it really been that long already??? wow), Amy and I decided to finally visit the southeastern coast of Korea, which is supposedly quite beautiful but (there's always a catch) has pretty much nothing in the way of cities, people and general civilization. Normally I like all these things, however in Korea, where I have no car, no civilization means no public transport, making navigation very, very difficult. Then there's all the staring and unwanted attention. Not too many foreign folks get down that way (see above) so we are quite the big deal. To avoid all these hassles and spend as much time as possible seeing the stuff we want (aka nature) and as little time as possible on the stuff we don't want (aka everything else), we joined a bus tour that would be flying all over the area. Plus, we would be able to meet new people on the tour. Well, alright, I wouldn't be, cuz I'm me, but at least Amy would make some new friends.

To get around the area and manage to get back to Seoul at a respectable hour on Sunday, the tour opted to leave late Friday night and drive into Saturday morning. Ohhh, and we were trying to catch the sunrise at a temple on the southern coast (spoiler: we didn't). To make it for sunrise the bus left from Seoul at 10pm, with Amy, our new friend James, and myself on board. A word on our new friend James: he has too much energy. He's one of those people that is always peppy, always cheery, always energetic. Over long periods of exposure, unless you are just as peppy as them or high on uppers or something, these type tend to wear on a person. And he did.

Since I knew we would be arriving at our destination by 5am or something, with minimal rest time after that, I wanted to get some rest on the bus. Too bad that that night was the second game for the US at the World Cup. So much for sleeping. This game just so happened to be the controversial Slovenia game. I could complain for days about all the shit that went on in that match, but for your sake I'll keep it brief. The US was terrible in the first half. They were wonderful in the second half. That disallowed goal was the biggest load of BS I've ever seen. That official was absolutely awful. The end. As you might imagine, I was rather wound up from the drama of the match, so there goes sleeping on the bus.

At some ungodly early hour we arrived at our destination along the southeast coast of Korea. Here we were faced with several options: 1) Remain on the bus and sleep until we head out in a few hours to our next destination 2) Hike up to the top of a nearby mountain, see the sunrise and hang out at the Buddhist Temple 3) Pay a little extra and crash for several hours in a little hostel room. I had paid for the hostel room, since I hate sleeping on buses, but I had to get my shots of the sunrise first.

So I set off to find the temple. Our directions were to follow the road up the hill to the temple, which sounds easy enough. It's a mountain for gods sake, you can't really miss it. However, finding the proper path up to the the temple was a bit more tricky and after several misfires, I finally managed to arrive at the temple. Freaking awesome sunrise here I come.





Damn you fog! Damn you to hell! Yes, the fog managed to muck up yet another lovely photo-op. No sunrise for me, try again next time. But you gotta make the most of whats available. I was still in a really cool temple on the side of a mountain (see video below) and the teeny tiny town below us was close enough to avoid the fog for the most part.



The best part of the temple? In order to reach the highest shrine, they had cut out (dug out?) of the mountain, leaving a really sweet tunnel. Just like the Batcave. At least in mind it was. At least in my mind.



After some futile cursing and praying for the fog to lift, I gave up on that endeavor and instead headed around the backside of the mountain to find the trail to the mountain's peak.



Man, fuck you fog. Obviously I wasn't gonna be able to see shit, but I did get some exercise out of the whole hike and I got to nap/relax on the absolute top of the mountain with some of the other tour folks. And I can't/don't get to do that every day, so minor win for me.

From there I headed back down the mountain to explore the bustling city nestled at the base of the hill. I visited some world class museums. I chatted global politics at the local Starbucks. I saw a beautiful rendition of "Oklahoma" at the local theater.





Okay, so maybe I didn't do any of those things in this particular "town", if you can call it that. But I did get stared at by the 7 or 8 residents, so that counts for something. Once down at the bottom, I found the hostel/room thingy the rest of the group was sleeping in and went to sleep for several hours. Or at least tried to. It's really hard to actually sleep on the hard floor. Don't know how the Koreans can do it.

With my nap finished, it was time to move on to Yeosu, a city on the coast, for a harbor tour. Yeosu is hosting the 2012 World Expo and they are wholly unqualified to host such an event. How do I know? Besides the fact that a town of 300,000 will be hosting an estimated 8 million guests and that its in the middle of nowhere and not easily reached from Seoul/Incheon International Airport/civilization? Probably the fact that the former mayor (from 2006 to early 2010) was on the run for 58 days after an arrest warrant was issued on the charges of taking bribes from contractors for construction rights and what not. Yup, politics K-style. Anyways, the city was pretty nice though.



Once in Yeosu, it was off to the harbor for a boat tour around the city and various surrounding uninhabited islands. Sounds cool. In theory. Well, for the most part it was. The weather was great. The view was lovely. The boat ride had water and green nature, which is plenty enough for me.



The catch? We were sharing this particular cruise with quite a few of the local elderly. I guess we didn't get the memo that this cruise was going to be a booze cruise. But drunken, way too friendly and super creepy old men is pretty standard fare here. The folks needed to be entertained while they drank. Obviously walking up on deck and actually looking at the lovely view was out of the question. Fuck that boring shit. Instead they got a musician who of course plays the music that people of that age seem to like....TROT. I shall not provide a link to such trash on my site because well, its awful. You have the internet, so you maybe search at your own risk. The best way to describe it is that you have one individual singer whose vocal delivery can be referred to as "warbling" (cuz they really wander all over the place with their singing), over a simplistic and very cheesy electronic piano beat that would probably be passed over for a porno soundtrack. To say that it sounds like farm animals giving birth is an insult to the the beauty of birth.

We really couldn't avoid the music, despite being up on deck, as they had it cranked up so bad. Many of tour members seriously considered throwing themselves overboard (myself included). In time the music shifted and we could definitely discern that this was all coming from a stereo, that someone was actually playing this stuff. That and I could have sworn I heard a saxophone, drum and harmonica. Now I was intrigued. Sure enough, at the center of the storm was this amazing performer.



No idea why he felt the need to dress up like a clown and wear the fake detective glasses with mustache but whatever. In spite of the poor music choice, the guy could play. He definitely had some talent on the sax and harmonica all while having to keep beat with that monstrous drum on his back. Sadly, his talents were wasted on the particular music.

Back in the harbor, still moving in a daze from the "music" and sensory overload while on the boat, we boarded our bus again and headed off to the Suncheon Bay Ecological Park. Yes, surprisingly in this case they are actually conserving the nature instead of rolling right over it. Kudos. Anyways, this particular bay features quite a bit of boardwalk that snakes through the marshes allowing the guests up close and personal exposure to the locals, like this guy:



And this guy:



Those fellas really were everywhere. You couldn't find a patch of marsh without 10 or so of each of those buggers. So we wandered through, taking pictures of the scenery and generally enjoying the fact that there wasn't a million cars around, or a million people or a million of anything. Very nice.



We wanted to catch the sunset at the Ecological Park, but as you might have guessed, the fog impeded us. So we headed early to our lodging for the evening. We were fortunate enough to stay in a recreation of an old timey village, which is great expect for the sleeping on the floor thing. Although, their mattresses suck too, so you are just universally fucked for sleep.



After dinner, some of us decided to head off reservation and wander into town for alcohol (or I should say more alcohol, as most of the travelers drank with their dinner too). We quickly found a convenience store and a space to plop our asses down and commenced with the merriment. While drinking we got to hear some crazy stories. Like the one girl who got charged by a silverback while studying in Africa, among other animal stories. Or the guy who saw a monkey masturbate using a frog in a zoo, then toss the traumatized frog away when he finished. Or the couple who used to work at Disneyland. Those were some stories. Watching Baloo and King Louie of the Jungle Book fight it out back stage after a performance. Or how an old Giraffe got struck by lightning in the safari while visitors were going through. And the stench that followed. Or how they had to cut him up with a chainsaw to move the body. All super good stories. I ended up giving a capoeira demo that was too bad given how fatigued and alcohol-adled I was. Didn't even fall on my face once. At the early hour of 3am, we finally called it a night and headed to bed.

After sleeping in and missing the trip to some famous tea fields in the area (ehhh, no big deal), it was time to move to a smaller tea plantation for tea picking and tea making. At this point in the trip I was very grumpy and not all together cooperative (see shitty sleeping conditions rants 1-1,000,0000,000,000), so I wasn't super enthused about making tea. First, we had to pick our tea and were ranked on who picked the most and best tea leaves. I wandered away from my partner during the picking and instead just relaxed in the fields with the plantation's famous tea-leaf eating dog.



We walked. We ate. We shat. We had our bellies scratched. From there, we went inside for tea drinking and eventually tea leaf cooking. Again, I just wanted to wander around outside with the dog and the cats (they had those too). Lucky bastards just got to sleep and relax on the deck while I had to sit inside listening to a speech about how their tea was so awesome cuz they sprinkle them with gold dust. I don't know if the dust makes the tea better, but it sure makes it more expensive. 1,200 dollars for a package of tea? No thanks. We cooked the leaves, we flipped the leaves, we pressed and rolled the moisture out of the leaves. Personally, I just like drinking the stuff. Could care less about the prep. But it was educational.



For here we were super time crunched, so we rushed to a local bamboo forest, took some pics and left. Seriously. We were in and out in 25 minutes. No foreplay either. Cuz that's how we roll?



Our last stop, just as rushed as the bamboo forest, was a road lined with sequoias. Nothing miraculous in itself, but the trees were all planted by the Park Chung Hee regime, a military dictatorship that ruled Korea quite brutally for several years in the 70s, I believe, but also helped industrialize and build up the country. So its more famous as a historical spot than anything. But it still was pretty. Too bad I only got one pic before my battery on the camera died.



That's it. Trip over. I'll toss a few of the videos down below, but if you are really inclined to see them all then just head over to youtube and type in "talldudeinasmallwld" and search for what you like.